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I am reviving my blog. Nah, resurrecting it back from the tombs of Aku. This doesn't mean I now have the luxury of time to write. Nor does it mean my passion for writing or for any other literary pursuit has taken the front seat of the present. I am writing because I am compelled by time. Or, more accurately, the seeming lack of it.

No, I am not dying and I am not sick. I am simply getting old. I will soon be joining the throng of once-so-young-but-not-anymore yuppies tearfully singing along the 4 Non-Blondes What's Up. Nine short months have passed since passing my Toefl exam. Nothing happened. Nothing's happening. I don't think that being a teacher has helped me in my pursuit for that elusive American dream. Even now, I am losing the spark, the flame of what moved me to become a teacher in the first place. Gone is the almost berserker-like fervor of which I envisioned myself transforming and educating the younger generation. All that is left is the pressure of meeting deadlines and completing school duties.

I'm not even sure of when and where I lost the spark. Perhaps because it is with the indifference shown by the students. Or with their apparent lack of appreciation for your sacrifices. Maybe it's because I finally understand that I may not be able to become as magnificent as I have always thought I would be. Or maybe it's because I feel that my charisma alone will not change the mediocre minds of the many sheeps I tend to everyday. Or perhaps it comes with the hopelessness of having to look after sheeps with brainpower comparable to that of a microscopic amoeba.

Or maybe I am just getting old. It is human nature I believe. Few mentors maintain their level of enthusiasm for instruction throughout their lifetime which explains why only few of them get remembered. Little by little, you get dragged to the pits of mundanity. Until eventually, everything becomes routine. Now everything is routine.

I am old. I am bored. Nothing has happened. Nothing's happening. Pray, something will happen soon....