An Epic Failure

Almost three weeks after the hostage incident, and finding myself wide awake and mentally active despite the time, I decided to open my blog and write about it. Why now, you might ask, when everyone else has gotten tired of the whole thing? Why now when all we wish to do is to sweep everything under the rug and forget that it ever happened? It's partly because I'm just bored and partly because I just wanted those know-it-alls to quiet down before I write my part. It doesn't matter that only a handful of you will read this. But I do hope that from my twisted point of you, you'll realize that I have a point.

I watched the entire scene unfold while watching the evening news. I witnessed the drama, as you all have, the gore, the suspense, the grief, the horror and the shame. The entire thing was an epic failure. By the end of the event, I was as dumbfounded as everyone else. I even switched channels and everything was being aired in all major news channel all over the world, CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera. Once again, the Philippines is on the map and for all the wrong reasons.

The following days dragged on like a melodramatic soap opera, everybody knew the plot and still kept watching for lack of a better thing to watch. The criticisms for the Philippine police force, the government, and ultimately, to all Filipinos mounted with a global disgust for this third world country known for its maids, tuberculosis and media killings. It was comparable to a surgical procedure without anaesthesia, large open wounds without anyone knowing how to stop the bleeding.

Amazingly, it was then that all forms of experts gave their opinions on how things should've been handled, how things could have been done differently. The blame game was on, everyone was pointing at everyone as the one responsible for the fiasco. It was a circus of monkeys and apes, everybody was suspect on who ate the last banana. The police chiefs, the hostage negotiators, the DILG people, the SWAT, the Manila mayor all raised their arms claiming they aren't bloodstained. Don't blame it on me, it wasn't my fault. And yet, there was this bullet ridden bus with bullet ridden dead bodies sprawled on its floor. Everyone wanted to be heroes if it ended in success but no one wanted to take the blame if it failed, which it did.

There was this psychologist who said, they should've changed the negotiator when the point came where he lost his credibility to the hostage-taker. I did not even think for a minute he, the psychologist, himself was credible enough to speak of matters beyond conventional matters. This is a crisis situation for heaven's sake with a desperate man and a rifle. This is something you don't see in your office everyday. It's more complicated than that. I admired Jackie Chan who said that it was impossible to predict what could've happened there. If you tried to negotiate longer, there would still be people who would say you should've stormed earlier. And if you tried to storm the bus earlier, there would still be people who would say you shoudl've negotiated longer. It could've gone either way.

What alarmed me, was that, yeah everything went from bad to worse and far worse in minutes, but do you really want to rub it in? Do you really have to go out there, screaming in social networks, commenting on blogs and articles about how stupid your people and its leaders are? Do you really have to join in lambasting the government and its police force for its inadequacies? Chances are, your government already knows it, so can you just zip it and pray? I'm not saying, we curtail our freedom of speech here. There are people who should be held liable for this mess, we all know that. But when the whole world criticizes your government, your country and your people, do you really have to pull a dagger and stab it on the back? There are alot of them out there, Filipinos taking sides with the Chinese and all them haters criticizing the Philippines side by side. Can this be more sad than it already is? When the son turns his back on his family and condemns them alongside strangers? To these people, an advice: When everyone else is against you, stick to your own. Be like the mafia, never disagree in front of other people, but feel free to argue within your own home. That's how Israel survives despite being surrounded by Arab countries. That's how the Godfather built his empire. With undying loyalty from their own people.

True, this crisis has revealed that the PNP is a big failure. I pray, we, as a people, the Filipino people, are not.

Ces-maryosep!

I watched Ces Drilon's primetime news show at ANC last night and marvelled at her complete ignorance and functional illiteracy about the plight of PTs here with the moratorium on Pinoy PTs taking the NPTE. It was amazing to see a news anchor impose her will on those being interviewed to the point she is sounding downright biased and not impartial as she should have been as a journalist. No wonder she never rose to the ranks of Karen Davila and Korina Sanchez or that she unwittingly travels to Sulu and gets kidnapped, this lady is nuts! Screws and bolts scattered all over the place. Hahahaha. I didn't see it coming though.

Anyway, there was mention of the PT thing on ANC and they invited some personalities which included people from DOLE, CHED, PRC and review centers. It was explained there that the government has no direct control over review centers as they are self-regulated. They cannot be under the Commission on Higher Education(CHED) as they are not degree giving bodies and therefore not under the jurisdiction of the said agency. Until then everything was fine and then Ces Drilon happened. Asking questions and making statements that are downright provoking but with an air of complete ignominy. To make it more painful, the president of one review center there answered with such a slow and weak response that made the interview almost unbearable. Are they both slow in the head? Drilon kept on rambling about how do you get your questions? Do you base it on books and which one? Are review centers still relevant? If the interviewee responds and the answer is something that doesn't appeal to Drilon's preference, she would shut the person up with "We are running out of time" or "We do not have time to delve into how you make your questions". Wow!

Are review centers still relevant? A nursing review owner was asked and he explained that the existence of review centers does not mean that schools do not educate their students well. However, there is a difference with having a theoretical knowledge about something and applying that knowledge to questions. Review centers, he said, teach students how to attack questions as test taking skills pertinent to licensure exams are not taught in schools. Of course, Drilon did not heed his explanation and casually moved on to the next questions.

Overall, the picture that was painted by Drilon was this. Allegations of cheating would hurt the chances of Pinoy healthcare professionals who want to work abroad and once more the review centers are to be blamed for this just like the June 2006 Nursing Licensure Exam. For review centers: You don't have to explain, just defend yourselves. For the government: Regulate them you assholes. They keep doing the same shit over and over again!

It truly is a grand exercise of ignorance by Drilon lambasting the licensure process but never having to undergo a licensure exam to get a job at ABS. Her credibility as a journalist is tarnished by her lack of research and feisty line of questioning that doesn't encourage meaningful conversation with her guests. Last night confirmed the adage: Light is faster than sound. That's why many people appear bright until you hear them speak. Thank you Ces Drilon for proving that statement true.

When a Month Becomes a Year

I went home after lunch from school yesterday and went to catch up on my sleep. I awoke refreshed and took to tweaking my computer when the call came. It was a land-line phone call and on the other end is a person from my agency. I found it weird that they call me at home but I realized I must've missed their call on my celphone. It must be something urgent for them to have call me directly at home. Alas, it was. I have received my ATT that morning and a few hours later news about NPTE test taking blew up in everybody's faces. PT graduates from India, Pakistan, Egypt and the Philippines are barred from taking the NPTE until the autumn of 2011 when the NPTE-YRLY exam will be available due to leakage of exam questions which is a serious offense to the FSBPT.

In my stunned disbelief, I posted an angry message on my Facebook wall which was followed by a series of text messages and Facebook messages and chats from friends and classmates here and abroad regarding the PT crisis we are facing. Soon after, everyone knew we were all in knee-deep shit and not knowing how to get out of it. I was scheduled for an embassy interview on the 22nd and my exam is next month and they're telling me I have to postpone everything for a year? What the hell was that? I paced around for awhile blowing smoke to try and discern what am I to do and finally decided on my most primal defense mechanism. I need a beer, a cold one. Ahhh lots of 'em. To make the long story short, I am soon sitting with Carmz, Dennis and Jini at SV chugging down beer.

The issue regarding St Louis was a very old issue that everyone thought had already died. FSBPT has thoroughly examined the evidences that they have gathered and they perhaps hadn't found sufficient evidence to prove that the review center was doling out recalled questions to students. If they had, they wouldn't have lost twice at the Department of Justice regarding the matter. Why then would they single out the four countries with special mention of the Philippines and not allow their graduates to take the exam? The answer is simple. There are fewer and fewer American students taking up PT due to the high cost of education and the rigid exam structure which has a high mortality rate. India, Pakistan, Egypt and the Philippines on the other hand send a lot of PTs in the US to work. It is a certainty that the Americans may be threatened that foreigners would take over the PT healthcare field in their own backyard. Why resurrect an already dead issue with the Filipino review centers? Filipinos have an edge over their counterparts because they speak English well and can hold high positions in PT clinics compared to other PTs who are doomed not to rise high in the corporate ladder because of language barrier, like Korean PTs.

It is not our fault that many Filipinos can pass the exam and few Americans can. Yeah, blame it on leakage of test questions for your convenience. But I'm pretty sure a lot of employers and hospitals would appeal this moratorium on taking the NPTE. They would not take this matte sitting down. There are a lot of them who prefer Pinoy PTs because we communicate well and are hardworking. Hopefully, FSBPT will see the fact that it is downright immoral and inhumane to punish everyone for the sins of a few. We will not give up our dreams and we will fight against this senseless bigotry and restore justice to our profession.

Getting Old, Anyone?

There are few subtle signs that your youth is slowly slipping away. It doesn't make you automatically old; it only means that your priorities in life are changing and that things that seem very important to you before seem less. Errr yes, that translates you you getting old (retracting my previous statement).

I have crossed the threshold of youth and maturity. Though I didn't cry (like Zaw and Tepi did when they heard What's Up by the 4 Non-blondes, the official I'm-25-and-nothing's-going-on-with-my-life-yet song), I felt a pang of sadness as I am indeed leaving a lot of fun things behind. I will be turning 26 on November, an age that makes me feel so old when I am with my students. Yet it is an age which my classmates at the center would regard as too young. An age in limbo where society doesn't necessarily dictate what you should do except perhaps hold a job. Some would suggest you have to settle down soon and some would suggest to have more stability first before jumping into marriage. Some would suggest you pursue your chosen profession and some would suggest you still have time to change directions if you want too. There are many more suggestions, I for one, don't even dare to pay even a little attention to. For now, I'm satisfied with my growth and how I am maturing (without sounding self-patronizing) rather gracefully.

I know I'm getting older because I can spend a Saturday night at home without any booze and yet not feel sorry for myself. It would have killed me when I was younger. I know I'm getting older because I don't mind jogging in a new subdivision quite a short distance from my house by myself. I know I'm getting older when I can listen to and talk about sex as casually as talking about the weather without blushing and getting wide-eyed. I'm getting older because I don't relate quite well with new singers and new songs and don't feel left out in the process as well. And perhaps, for now, I don't mind getting old at all. I've seen a lot of good and bad in my quarter-century of a lifetime. And I know, for sure, the best is yet to come.

Haters

Some religions would claim that we are but reincarnations of our former selves which explains why we have soul mates. This would also explain why we have people we are immediately comfortable with at first meeting, the so-called "kagaanan ng loob". It is believed that in our former life, these people (in their former lives) were our friends and companions. But I'm not writing about soul mates right now. Rather, I am writing about its antithesis, of which I don't know its name.

Every once in a while you get to encounter people who immediately get on your nerves without trying. Often these people aren't doing anything to you and most of the time they are even nice and meek. But still, there is something inside you that stirs, a storm of hatred and contempt which perfectly ruins your perfect day upon seeing them. It may sound mean, but I never fail to comment about them each time we have an encounter. Is it because they were our enemies on our past life? Or is it because they reflect what we are afraid of becoming ourselves?

Since people I hate upon sight are people you don't know, there would be no bearing writing about them. Instead, I'd like to write about celebrities who gets my irk. First on my list is Samuel L. Jackson. I automatically shut off the TV each time I see him. I don't know why but he is really irritating. Sarah Jessica Parker seems like a very nice lady but I hate her as well. And I cannot understand how they always praise her for her sense of style which errr... doesn't even look stylish. But among them, nobody takes the cake but Renee Zellweger. God how I hate her. I don't have to know why, I just do. Lolz

Hating people without any reason may seem mean to other people but I don't care. It is perfectly reasonable to hate them as I'm pretty sure there are others as well who hate me for no apparent reason as well.

Time Calls Me Home

It's been a long long time since I've written and even now I don't have any intention of writing. I am practically staring at the keyboard without anything to say, to write eventhough at times I have a million things to say. There is not single soul here where I can just blurt out anything to, without feeling guilty, misjudged or misunderstood. I have been here in Manila for a couple of months, and though I could get used to the big city lifestyle, God knows I want to go home.

The way I've been raised and the way I have handled myself with people really helps alot with my initial adjustment here. And I am streetsmart enough to distinguish the crooks from the innocent bystanders. I was overwhelmed though, walking one day through the busy, colorful streets of Quiapo, to see an ocean of faces, each going their own way, not noticing each other, as if everyone's existence seem non-existent at all. To see a lot of faceless people cramped in one place is rather sad. In a city of 10-million strong, everyone is a stranger. Everyone is alone. And that is sad.

I get-by day-to-day in a monotonous routine of going to school, meeting the same people who I will leave behind in a few months time. I miss home a lot. I miss that small town I left behind. The place may not be as exciting, the women not as exquisite and sophisticated. At least the place hasn't lost its heart. Not everyone there is waiting to pounce on the weak. People there have faces. Faces recognizable through unintroduced acquaintances. They may be nameless, but definitely not faceless. So here I am. Waiting. Waiting for time to take me home...

Poem XVI (From Verses of the Red Rock)

(To the victims of the Maguindanao massacre)

The earth awoke to a solemn morn
To hushed whispers of a looming cloud
Fear is tangible--it hovers like fog
Too cold and thick to swallow.
The roads are long and winding
And the journey seems neverending.
Shadows rise on the distance
Slowly, slowly darkness came.
The shot burned skin and shattered bones
Lying sprawled and bleeding,
The sun shown the stairway to oblivion
This final breath liberates the spirit
But eternally chains the burdened soul.


8:21pm 113009