That is so Pedestrian!

Okay. Here I am. Allegedly forced by society to join the bloggers bandwagon. I'd probably not have a lot of time to create any more blogs any time soon since I don't have anything worthwhile to write anyway. But since I'm here, might as well waste your freaking time.

In Tupac Shakur's famous song Changes, the last line in the lyrics reads: Some things never change. Well the hell it's true. I've always dreamed of having my own personal driver to drive me around the city or anywhere else I wish to be. But damn lady luck doesn't seem so interested in me and so here I am still stuck to the hustle and bustle of commuting in public utility jeepneys on a daily basis.

Commuting to work or to play is never fun save for a precious few moments where some people would do something stupid to the amusement of the passengers. As a constant jeepney commuter, I've learned a lesson or two.

I am a person who is almost always late in everything. I tend to procrastinate in everything that I do. In fact, whenever I arrive on time for a meeting or something that's so important, the most likely reasons for me being there is that: a.)I thought the scheduled time was an hour earlier b.)by some miracle, there is no traffic and the jeepney sails smoothly along the road c.) I took a taxi because I thought I would have been late if I rode a jeepney.

In a way I am proud of being a commuter. I am a driving force in the local economy. By patronizing public transport, I give much needed support to our drivers and their union which know nothing but hold public demonstrations and transport strikes. Anyway, enough of this patronization and let's get down to business(cause my pride at being a commuter ends there errrrrr):

1.) It is very important to know your driver. Before riding a jeepney, examine his facial expression and his eagerness to drive. If he looks like he's about to fall asleep on the wheel then chances are he will drive as fast as a steamroller on a rainy day (read: soooo damn slow). If he has tattoos or facial peircings, most likely he'll drive like Lindsay Lohan on drugs. He will take you faster to your destination but if you're lucky enough he could take you faster to your grave too.

2.) Check out the driver's age. If he looks like he has one foot buried in the soil already, spare yourself the trouble of riding in his jeepney and wait for the next one. He will drive as fast as a funeral car on Sunday. The younger the driver is, the better. But if you encounter a young driver who drives like an old man, well save yourself some money by not paying him. His job is to take you to your destination in a reasonable time. And if you hear a driver scream "If you are such in a hurry, go take a taxi!", you can help him understand the meaning of the word control by (again)NOT paying him! Don't answer back, don't fight back, just don't pay him. Let's see who wins that argument. Bwahaha,

3.) NEVER, EVER pay right after you came up the jeepney. Chances are, the driver will make it an excuse to stay and wait for more passengers by asking you how many people are you going to pay for, your destination, where did the jeepney pick you up and stuff. And a worse scenario is after that useless smalltalk another passenger will come up the jeepney and do the same. The jeepney driver is in a win-win situation here since he gets to get your money and still linger around to wait for passengers. So, when is the best time to pay your jeepney fare? That is when the jeepney is already on the move.

4.) Be careful of rusty and old jeepneys. If you get in a minor traffic accident, you'd have a higher chance of wounding yourself on the rusty railings and get yourself a wonderful case of tetanus. Let's see how beautiful you'd look like in a locked jaw.

5.) Believe in the power of positive thinking and mental telepathy. Try to focus your mind on the driver and constantly repeat: Dasiga Dasiga (hurry). Believe me, it works 65% of the time. They could actually feel your eagle eyes piercing through their thick skulls and they get to start moving. So if you ask me, what happens to the other 35%? Well, some skulls are just too thick for mental telepathy and positive thinking to affect.

6.) Some drivers are just too deaf to even belong in the human race. Passengers would have to shout two or three times before he even stops the jeepney. And chances are you are a block away from where you wanted to stop. How do you deal with this driver? Shout STOP from a block away. Another option: Don't pay him.

Anyway, I hope you learned something and apply this crap to your miserable lives. It could get you out of your worst I'm-so-damn-late moments. You got comments? Feel free to write them down.....