Yep, There's Such a Thing as Free Lunch

Today marks the second straight day of kan-anay! Yesterday's lunch was catered through the generosity of Doc G. We had some special sinigang and the rest I didn't know what they were called. Ha-ha. But the best part was the dessert. He brought us a special blueberry cheesecake from Calea. Damn! I don't have a sweet tooth in me but that cake gave my mouth an orgasm!
Today, Ms AJ paid for our lunch at Jo's Chicken Inato. Well Jo's Chicken Inato is the restaurant equivalent of Jolina Magdangal. That has-been of a star. Jo's used to be the best chicken house in Iloilo. Unfortunately, they didn't keep their standards up. So now, as I was saying, it is like Jolina. Still there but hardly felt. Go Mang Inasal!
Tomorrow, we will be having lunch at Mrs. Gayoles house (Doc G's sister-in-law). She serves the best KBL (kadios, baboy, langka) in the whole wide worlddddddddd. Promise! The food tastes so good, you will even forget your own name. I've eaten there once and only then did I know that KBL and chorizo go together verywell. How I wish you would be able to share the palatable servings I am enjoying these days. Happy eating!
P.S. Ngaa sa tanan nga has-beens si Jolina gid b? hahaha.. kaluoy man.. adding insult to injury..tsktsk

Oh Kresmas tre, Oh Kresmas tre

I went shopping for my SP's gift today (Si Nang Belinda hehe) [ well wala man gablog c nang bel teh she won't know that she's my SP]. I already know that I am a weird gift-giver. I tend to give gifts that people won't ever use in their entire lives. I remember perfectly that along the course of the many SP-SP's that I have participated in, I have already given: 1.) a bundle of barbecue sticks 2.) a set of knives 3.)a floral apron (for a guy) 4.) a can of liver spread 5.) 2 boxes of paper clips 6.) a set of staplers (6 pieces in a set) 7.) a flowerpot and many more. Some would say they would be damn unlucky if I was the one who picked out their names, friends and former classmates alike. Unfortunately, my impulses get the hold of me. When I go shopping for gifts, I want gifts that won't be forgotten at all. Well, if you received a flowerpot for Christmas, how would you forget the feeling of disappointment and anger over that person who gave you that? BWAHAHA!
Well, today was going to be different. The minimum price of the gift was not less than 300 (down from a previous 500!). So there I went! I went gift-hunting for Nang Bel. I first went through Ace Hardware, where I first bought my new set of kitchen knives for my victim, errrr, SP. Ahem. Unfortunately(or otherwise), they aren't selling knives there anymore and I thought I don't think Nang Bel would particularly enjoy receiving them and would probably give me a hard time in the office. But, damn it, I saw the perfect gift for her there. A kitchen sink! I actually checked the price of the kitchen sink. I was heartbroken; it costs 14,000. So I dropped my kitchen sink gift and looked for something cheaper.
I went to SM Delgado looking for a nice heater that won't really cost a lot. But all they had there were expensive ones. Until I set my eyes on that beautiful electronic egg-beater. Checked the price and it costs more than a thousand. Tsk Tsk.
Finally chose to look around in Unitop for something classy that wasn't that expensive. Unitop is the place to be when you want to die of kidney failure due to melamine intoxication. It is also the place to be when you want to experience lead poisoning. It is also the place to be when you want to have your house burnt down due to defective appliances that did not undergo quality control. The place is way cheaper than most, but almost all of their products come from China, yes, that China!
I transformed into a Shrek version of Alice in Wonderland as I explored the mystery that is Unitop. And I found many interesting objects that I almost bought for Nang Bel: 1.) a lamp shade that is shaped like a pair of women's breasts, 2.) a teacup set that has a written warning screaming: I careful. Breaking glass hold. , 3.) an ironing board (imagine getting a kabayo for Xmas!), 4.) a toothpaste that could be used in treating pimples and dandruff, 5.) a griller that has no grill, 6.) a set of knives (bwahaha)
After searching for awhile, I finally chose a conventional gift for my SP and settled on a set of linen (1 bedsheet, 1 blanket, 2 pillow cases) worth 340 pesos. I also threw in 2 sets of clothespin worth 50 pesos. There, there. I may not be the best Christmas shopper in the world. But, oh look at that boy. He's finally grown up! ..... a bit at least :-)

May Morto!!!

I woke up with a slight hangover from Friday's drinking session and I rushed to school. We gathered as a college to have a Christmas party with our adopted barangay somewhere in the armpits of Oton. After a humid event that lasted for about 4 hours, we took a short trip from Oton to Shamrock beach resort where we were to spend the College of PT Xmas party. The timing of the party was totally absurd as we are having our prelims exam starting Tuesday. Many of the students therefore weren't able to stay and have fun because they still have the prelim exams at the back of their minds.
Anyway, almost everyone left after the Xmas party was over. Only a handful, including myself, stayed at the resort for an overnight retreat. After dinner, we sang a few songs at the karaoke bar and went drinking till we get wasted. We played a drinking game called Jackass and damn that game was soooo fun I never had as much fun in a drinking game as when I played the Beergame for the first time. Well anyway, let's fast forward.
It was already about 3 am when most people retired for the night. Unfortunately, I wasn't drunk yet. I was still in desperate need of booze to satisfy my cravings (Liveraide commercial playing in the background). So I managed to drag 3 students who were also left dissatisfied to go out of the resort and search for more booze. First we went in the direction going back to Oton and after walking for maybe more than 30 minutes we decided that everyone is still asleep and that we ain't gonna find any booze in that area. So we agreed to walk back to the resort. Along the way, the students and I were talking bout the "3 am mystery", with the argument that many uncanny experiences happen at this doom hour. Then out of the blue, I suggested we try to pretend we are ghosts and scare motorists. Ha-ha-ha.
There were four of us, I and another guy then 2 girls. One of the girls has a long white shawl over her shoulders. We timed our entrance. She was going to be the leader, with her shawl over her head and not on her shoulders. We are going to be a procession of ghosts with our arms forward as if we were zombies. At 3:30 in the morning, that would be a disturbing sight to motorists. Lolz.
Finally, a pair of headlights shown ahead of us and we readied ourselves. As it approached us, we moved really slowly and zombie-like util it drove past us. We thought he didn't see us. We thought we failed to scare the driver. But hey a few meters from where we were at the opposite side of the street, he slowed down until he came to a full stop. We continued walking like zombies for awhile until we heard the car move again. I assume the driver had hair rising over his nape thinking he saw something supernatural. Ha-ha-ha. He stopped the car to recheck if his eyes were deceiving him of maybe he woken up his passenger or what. I just sure we sacred the wits out of him. Ha-ha-ha. God, this must be the best prank I've pulled so far in recent years. Woot Woot!

KOOOOOREEEEAAAAANNNNOOOO!

Yesterday, I met up with former officemates from the Korean school I used to teach in (Ken's Sparta Tutorial Center that's beside Jollibee U.P.). They all looked somber and angry at the same time. They revealed to me that when they went to work that morning, that fool of a Filipino manager, NETCHER JERMIA, told them to pack up and go home. The school was officially closing due to "bankruptcy". What?! How can the largest Korean school in Iloilo just fall into bankruptcy when students continue to enrol there and they are still hiring new tutors? The Korean owner of the school with his cohorts and that included the new makapili, NETCHER JERMIA, deliberately absconded from paying the tutors their due. They announced a school holiday to give time to Ken, the koring owner, to flee back to Korea. Fortunately, the tutors were able to freeze the passport of his brother, Ian, at the Bureau of Immigration, which means he is still stuck here somewhere in the pits of the Philippines. It is going to be a cold and penniless Christmas for all of them especially the tutors whose livelihood is teaching Koreans.
Two things are certain to date: 1.) Koreans are not as rich as they like to imprint on us Filipinos and 2.) Some Filipinos are still apt on selling their own countrymen for their own personal gains. Why am I not surprised.

Maestro ka na! mabuhay!

Sigh! I'm beat. I'm soooo tired today I wish I was still the bum I used to be. Woke up with a splitting hangover, tried very hard to pull myself out of bed and into the shower. Had to rush to the office and type my prelim exams. God! and I freakin didn't know today was the deadline for that.
I always thought teaching came naturally and easily for me. Which is why it was a dream come true when I was invited to teach in behalf of Ms. Jo who was already leaving for the US 2 months ago. I didn't know yet that life as a teacher would never be a bed of roses. And even though I try so hard to always be objective by distancing myself from the drama that is college, I find myself caught up in its web and at the end of day, stressing over issues and students from whom I promised myself not to be affected by. I had to stay up late studying and preparing for the next day's class when, in fact, I never put so much effort in college. In college, my strategy was simply to stay afloat in class, not really learn about anything. Ultimately, since I figured I couldn't do it on my own, I looked for a bestfriend (Zaw, wink wink) and through our harmonious and symbiotic relationship I managed to pass and graduate.
Unfortunately, now it's all different. I am currently relearning things I should have already learnt in college. I am reding books I've never heard of before. Some things my brain automatically rejected before are starting to sink in to my conciousness and hopefully I am delivering it too to my kids, who for now I assume, are just trying to stay afloat just like me.
Zaw thought it ironic to find me studying. She told me you never studied before for your own grades and now you are studying for the grades of other people. Well said. But I have no choice. This is my dream. Albeit a shallow one, at least I'm living it. Kudos to myself. And to all those people living their own simple and shallow dreams.

Utok Kasag

One of the worst conceivable flaws in Filipino culture is our crab mentality. We can't help it. We seldom are proud of people around us who succeed. If any, we are downright jealous and bitter when someone else succeeds. And, of course, as our society dictates, we are immorally obliged to backbite, backstab, and tell stories of ill-content, contrived or not, just so to pull that person back down. Ah, the Filipino in us all! :) What's more: we tend to dwell in the past when people get ahead of us. Something like: so what if he's rich and successful now? he used to be a wallflower way back in high school. Or something like: So what if she's doing great in the U.S. now? she lost to me in that beauty pageant. It's either this is a jock's, queen bee's, or the "in-crowd"'s mentality or maybe, just maybe, we are bitter at not being considered successful in the manner that society defines.
They say that success is subjective. But for us Pinoys, that is not the case. Success, to us, equates with money, cars, and a nice big house or two. Which is why we cringe at the thought of us working as salesladies, waiters or janitors. For by doing these errrrr lowly, albeit noble jobs(errr i really had to put this in ^.^), we are afraid that we wil be branded as a failure.
Let me go back to that crab mentality thing. This is something that affects not only those who want to pull people up there back down where they think they should be. Pinoys who succeed also have their noses up to the sky. They don't even want to remember where they came from. For example, Pinoy A and Pinoy B are really good friends. Both of them grew up in the same neighborhood, eating in the same small-town restaurant and went to the same school. Pinoy A got rich and famous; Pinoy B remained a so-so factory worker. Tell me, what are the chances that Pinoy A will invite Pinoy B to eat in that same old small-town diner they used to dine in? What are the chances that Pinoy A will want to sit in their old tambayan and talk about the old days? I can't answer that for you. What I know is we have a culture deeply ingrained in each of us that probably won't be fixed in a loooong time. So allow me to rant about people I know who are now very successful: Hoy Janyn!!!!!!!!! Hoy Elna!!!!!!! Hoy Bes!!!!!! (pati wla pa na c zaw naging successful nahisa lng ko ya ke gatampisaw xa sa snow!).... :)

Lupain ng Ginto't Bulaklak

A foreigner once said: the problem with you Filipinos is that you don't love your country enough. What's in a country anyway? What's in being a Filipino? If you rave about culture, we lost our culture to the Spanish and the Americans a long time ago. We talk about our beautiful islands; and yet we leave it to be ravished by foreigners. We talk about our food and yet we can't even delineate which one is uniquely ours. To sum it all up: everything about our glorious past has faded into a distant memory that few people would relish and be proud of. We have become like has-been moviestars that are only remembered when something bad happens. The Philippines is only mentioned on TV when the topic is about volcanic eruption (Mt Pinatubo), Charisse Pempengco, and mail-to-order brides. Our women are branded as sex-kittens who are easy to get and easily lured by dollar-bearing old fat and dirty men. I don't feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for myself. For when I first read the Noli Me Tangere, I felt a sense of anger and longing for justice about incidents that happened centuries ago. When I joined the Edsa II, I felt a sense of jubilation when Erap was thrown out of the Palace. And at that time, a flicker of hope lit up in my chest: Change....

... did not come. It wasn't meant to come. It will never come. That's why I feel sorry for myself. I feel numb and apathetic when people talk about my country. As with all relationships, love is not enough. And when that statement starts to sink into those souls who actually care: "The problem with you Filipinos is that you don't love your country enough", I will tell that man to shove it up. The only problem with us Filipinos is us Filipinos. And that makes me sorry for myself. You probably should feel sorry for yourself, too.

I'm Back! Watch Out World!

Yep I'm soooooo back. After a month-long vacation in Greece and Sicily, I'm finally back. Since I'm kinda busy these days, I probably won't write a lot of long blogs from hereon. Furthermore, I still have to reach out to a lot more readers to get my spirits up. Damn, my credits cards are burning after my vacation. Good thing is that I have a wonderful tan right now and I brought a lot of memorabilia. One of these days I'd fill up these pages so please keep posted.

Lovelots,

Dyud Botod
American Idol Batch 2011

Candidates for Assasination

The Pinoy music industry has been raving about the massive advancement of music in modern times. Thanks to Kitchie Nadal who jumpstarted the already dying Pinoy alternative rock scene with her famous song Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin, many other alternative bands also came into the spotlight. Alongside the rebirth of Pinoy alternative rock scene, acoustic music by Paolo Santos and the other has-beens and never-wases also helped in reviving the dying music industry. However, many crappy musicians, artists and trying-hard-to-be-rockstars also sprouted like toadstools from dog piss. Let's all wish they get struck by lightning, drown in their soups, electrocuted while charging their celphones (using China-made chargers bought from Unitop) or they lose conciousness and wake up in the kingsize bed of Michael Jackson:

1.) Cueshe
-talk about crap to the highest degree. Everything about them is fake. And who the hell is that second frontman who tries to play cutesy to attract women and gay audiences? Yeah like the hell that's so rockstar to me. And remember that song which resembles Silverchair's "The Greatest View"? That is so damn right sacriligeous for these creeps dressing up as rockstars. I suggest we execute them by burying them up to the neck and putting honey in their head and face while hungry fire ants rush in to taste their juicy eyeballs. Let's see if you can still do that beautiful eyes things fools.

2.) Callalily
-another band whose talent measures up to Mura's dicksize. They sound so horrible and all they have to show is a frontman who has the looks but has the talent of a pig in a swimming contest. I recommend they die by cutting their necks using a breadknife and let them bleed to death.

3.) Alessandra de Rossi
-I think that she is a wonderful actress and fashionista but hell I saw her music video and I vomitted all that I had for lunch. She sang Sailing by Christopher Cross. She not only murdered the song but she has this ghastly video with her in a swimming pool lip-synching the song and bubbles spew out from her nose and mouth that could disgust even a sewr cleaner. I suggest she is executed by letting her sail alone in the Bermuda Triangle to be sucked up by aliens allegedly preying on the area.

4.) Dennis Trillo
-being popular onscreen doesn't mean you are a good actor (check out that horror movie of forgettable nature he did with Paolo Contis and Iya Villana [?]). It probably means you are as lousy a singer as eating ibus without sugar. By singing All Out of Love by Air Supply, he certainly proved that superstardom could not guarantee talent and that fools are still fools even if they wore kingly robes. I suggest he is killed by tying him to a bed with his entire body completely protected except for his thing, spread cornchips all over and then release a horde of hungry sewer rats into the room.

5.) Rachel Ann Go
-the nerve of this fart to make a rock album! She pratically mutated wonderful rock songs like Honestly by Harem Scarem into pieces of mouse droppings. By pretending to be a rockstar, she ironically turned rocksongs into pop songs. I think the only people to appreciate her "rock album" are those people whose breeding compares to that of street dogs and whose musical taste equates to the death-blind-and-mute. She should die by forcing her to swallow rocks until her gut explodes like a star. There you go, you achieve your dream. You're a rockstart now you biatch.

6.) Christian Bautista
-as soft as a flower, this crooner needs to have the true nature of his sexuality constantly re-examined. He indulges those Pinoy's whose craving for melodrama is insatiable by singing love songs that are as cheesy as Piolo Pascual movies. Oh my god! The pain in my ears. I suggest he dies by cutting off his nipples and pouring pinakurat on it until he expires in pain.

7.)Sam Milby
-this wanna-be rockstar ought to be castrated! Imagine him singing Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Wherever You Will Go by The Calling and trying to sound so husky as to project a rockstar appeal! Oh come on dickhead. You are like Nick Carter who tried to transform into a rockstar ust by sounding husky. My god can't you even have some sort of originality? He should die by being tied to a poster bed with a sex-hungry Boy Abunda and closet queen extraordinaire Piolo Pascual ravaging his body. Ewww..

8.)Toni Gonzaga
-okay to be fair to her, she is an OK host; but damn it as a singe she sucks bigtime! She has a voice that sounds so gay (like Ruffa Guttierez) when she sings and yet she really feels that singing is her "calling". Kasarang? And she even tries to bellow out high notes that probably makes her throat do sommersaults becuase it can NEVER reach that high. I suggest she is killed by forcing her to swallow the microphone she so willingly proclaims as her scepter.

9.)Billy Crawford
-this has-been/never-was still continues to croon in a ghastly RnB fashion pretending to still be the international star that he almost was. His receding hairline is testament to his delusions that he is still somebody. He should die by being stripped naked and pelted with pellet guns until he extinguishes from mini-contusions all over his body.

10)Kris Aquino
-no words can express my distaste for this beyotch! She continues to release music albums without singing anything! Argh! I can't express myself anymore! Just kill her please. Whatever method you use it's okay. Just kill her!

My 15 Best Music Videos of All Time

I've been an avid music fan for as long as I can remember. I basically listen to almost all genres of music (save for classical music which I think sucks and would also give you a clear background as to my breeding bwahaha [kiss my smelly ass Chopin and Beethoven!]). It makes no difference to me if the music was made in the 1940's or in the 2000's. If the music is good I'd probably have it in my MP3 player. Anyway, here are my chosen videos. I choose these videos either because they tell beautiful stories, send wonderful messages or were made with such elegant simplicity you simply can't take your eyes off them. Here they are:

15.) Mariah Carey- Make It Through the Rain
The video is a typical scene from everyday Pinoy telenovelas that wallow in melodrama. It features the story of a young couple fighting for their forbidden interracial love. By the end of the video, Mariah Carey is up on stage performing and the couple, both now old and gray, grasp each other's hand softly giving justice to the cliche that love conquers all.

14.) Sandwich- Betamax
A music video that features outdoor Pinoy children's games. The simplicity of the video, with the band playing in a staircase seemingly located in a sidewalk, and the innocence of the children playing the games makes this video unforgettable for me. Furthermore, the message of the song reflects a modern band's respect for the bands who ruled before.

13.) Michael Jackson- Do You Remember the Time?
The King of Pop plays a magician in an Egyptian King's (played by Eddie Murphy) royal palace who seduces the Queen, unwittingly, in front of the King with his magic. This irks the King alot and orders the capture of magician. When cornered, the magician casts a spell and transforms into a pile of sand. Oh yeah, the stories that only Jacko videos can tell!

12.) REM- Everybody Hurts
This anti-suicide song is so melancholic and monotonous it almost makes you want to kill yourself ironically. And ironically, I also love this song. Anyway, the video features a regular traffic situation in a highway until people start to look up into the skies as if watching something. At the end, a news broadcast is played expressing confusion upon the presence of a traffic scene with all the people gone (read: all the cars are empty)

11.) Nirvana- MTV Unplugged: The Man Who Sold the World
The first band ever to do an MTV unplugged! This part of the pioneer MTV unplugged is perhaps their best and unforgettable performance. Kurt Cobain simply sat there and sang. Just that. Just perfect.

10.) No Doubt- Running
Gwen Stefani is undeniably the best female atlernative rock music icon that the mid-90s produced. This music video is among the swan songs of the No Doubt band before they ultimately ended their long and glorious career. It features pictures of the band from start to finish. It simply told the glorious and sometimes turbulent history of the band.

9.) Enigma- Return to Innocence
This is one video I will never forget. Enigma became quite popular in the early 90's with this music video released probably in 1994. Enigma's music is similar to chant-trance music that Enya and the Gregorian Monks re-introduced in the 2000s. Anyway, this music video is so unique because it features everything in reverse. Horses running in reverse, everything in reverse. The video stuck to my head since almost 15 years ago. Wonderful piece of art.

8.) Eminen- Stan
This video tells of an obssessed Eminem fan named Stan who has personal issues. The (has-been bwahahah) singer Dido plays the pregnant girlfriend of Stan and also sings the chorus of the song. The video ends with Stan kidnapping his own pregnant girlfriend and tries to record a hate tape to Eminem before the car he was driving got into an accident and killed himself.

7.) Duffy- Warwick Avenue
When I first looked at the video I couldn't take my eyes off it. Funny thing is nothing is special with the video. It is just Duffy sitting in the backseat of the car singing and crying at times. It is a breakup song or something but what I know is it transfixed me. No, Duffy is a so-so beauty not something worth staring at for a long time but the simplicity of the video is just amazing. You could try to check it out, you might like the song too. :)

6.) Soul Asylum- Runaway Train
Perhaps the one song that propelled Soul Asylum to superstardom is also a music video that is worth mentioning here. It features pictures of missing children. Whether they ran away, got kidnapped or whatever, we don't know. But the song and the video is addictive, especially if you are into melodrama. hehe

5.) Hale- The Day You Said Goodnight
What I particularly like about this video is that it isn;t so far-fetched from real life. It is set in boardinghouses or dormitories near universities. As expected, the houses are quite crowded and the scene has a convenience store typical of Pinoy local scenes. The story revolves around a college boy who is sort-of smitten to a young college girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. They became friends and just when the boy thought there is something going on between them, he sees the girl making up with her boyfriend leaving him alone in his dorm. A must-see video I think.

4.) Michael Jackson- Smooth Criminal
OMG another MJ video! Yes, there is no denying this video. It has a Mafia-concept with Jacko dancing around a bar full of gangsters. The dance is so fluid it is as if there are no cuts when the video was made. Of course the classic scene where MJ was walking along the pavement and everywhere his foot touches lights up is worth mentioning here. This was spoofed by Alien Ant Farm in the video of their cover (a pretty good one too) of Smooth Criminal.

3.) Hoobastank- The Reason
The start of the video would make you think like it's a romantic scene complementing the lyrics of the song. However, the twist comes in the middle of the video where instead of a romantic moment between two people, a clever and ingenious heist was taking place. Turns out, the accident was faked to distract the owner of the shop and to give time to the two people's cohorts to steal a precious red gem from the shop's owner. A totally awesome video! :)

2.) Eraserheads- Ang Huling El Bimbo
The founders of Pinoy alternative rock music comes with an unforgettable video about a puppy love that can't be borught back again. It's about a girl who dances very well and is secretly admired by four young boys. When they grew up, they went to look for the girl so they could dance again only to find out that the girl already died. How tragic!

1.) Michael Jackson- Thriller
Don't complain! Jacko was the first person to make music videos into short films and definitely this is the best of it! I suppose you already saw this video so there is no need for me to describe it. Well, if you still haven;t seen it then most probably you are still in the Jurassic era and need to time travel to modern civilization. Well anyway, Halloween is coming up and I's pretty sure Myx and MTV will be playing this quite often.

Well guys, these are my favorite videos. If you have comments feel free to write them down. Oh btw, some of the titles may be wrong so please inform me as well. Happy reading.

That is so Pedestrian!

Okay. Here I am. Allegedly forced by society to join the bloggers bandwagon. I'd probably not have a lot of time to create any more blogs any time soon since I don't have anything worthwhile to write anyway. But since I'm here, might as well waste your freaking time.

In Tupac Shakur's famous song Changes, the last line in the lyrics reads: Some things never change. Well the hell it's true. I've always dreamed of having my own personal driver to drive me around the city or anywhere else I wish to be. But damn lady luck doesn't seem so interested in me and so here I am still stuck to the hustle and bustle of commuting in public utility jeepneys on a daily basis.

Commuting to work or to play is never fun save for a precious few moments where some people would do something stupid to the amusement of the passengers. As a constant jeepney commuter, I've learned a lesson or two.

I am a person who is almost always late in everything. I tend to procrastinate in everything that I do. In fact, whenever I arrive on time for a meeting or something that's so important, the most likely reasons for me being there is that: a.)I thought the scheduled time was an hour earlier b.)by some miracle, there is no traffic and the jeepney sails smoothly along the road c.) I took a taxi because I thought I would have been late if I rode a jeepney.

In a way I am proud of being a commuter. I am a driving force in the local economy. By patronizing public transport, I give much needed support to our drivers and their union which know nothing but hold public demonstrations and transport strikes. Anyway, enough of this patronization and let's get down to business(cause my pride at being a commuter ends there errrrrr):

1.) It is very important to know your driver. Before riding a jeepney, examine his facial expression and his eagerness to drive. If he looks like he's about to fall asleep on the wheel then chances are he will drive as fast as a steamroller on a rainy day (read: soooo damn slow). If he has tattoos or facial peircings, most likely he'll drive like Lindsay Lohan on drugs. He will take you faster to your destination but if you're lucky enough he could take you faster to your grave too.

2.) Check out the driver's age. If he looks like he has one foot buried in the soil already, spare yourself the trouble of riding in his jeepney and wait for the next one. He will drive as fast as a funeral car on Sunday. The younger the driver is, the better. But if you encounter a young driver who drives like an old man, well save yourself some money by not paying him. His job is to take you to your destination in a reasonable time. And if you hear a driver scream "If you are such in a hurry, go take a taxi!", you can help him understand the meaning of the word control by (again)NOT paying him! Don't answer back, don't fight back, just don't pay him. Let's see who wins that argument. Bwahaha,

3.) NEVER, EVER pay right after you came up the jeepney. Chances are, the driver will make it an excuse to stay and wait for more passengers by asking you how many people are you going to pay for, your destination, where did the jeepney pick you up and stuff. And a worse scenario is after that useless smalltalk another passenger will come up the jeepney and do the same. The jeepney driver is in a win-win situation here since he gets to get your money and still linger around to wait for passengers. So, when is the best time to pay your jeepney fare? That is when the jeepney is already on the move.

4.) Be careful of rusty and old jeepneys. If you get in a minor traffic accident, you'd have a higher chance of wounding yourself on the rusty railings and get yourself a wonderful case of tetanus. Let's see how beautiful you'd look like in a locked jaw.

5.) Believe in the power of positive thinking and mental telepathy. Try to focus your mind on the driver and constantly repeat: Dasiga Dasiga (hurry). Believe me, it works 65% of the time. They could actually feel your eagle eyes piercing through their thick skulls and they get to start moving. So if you ask me, what happens to the other 35%? Well, some skulls are just too thick for mental telepathy and positive thinking to affect.

6.) Some drivers are just too deaf to even belong in the human race. Passengers would have to shout two or three times before he even stops the jeepney. And chances are you are a block away from where you wanted to stop. How do you deal with this driver? Shout STOP from a block away. Another option: Don't pay him.

Anyway, I hope you learned something and apply this crap to your miserable lives. It could get you out of your worst I'm-so-damn-late moments. You got comments? Feel free to write them down.....