Still a Rebel Without a Cause

An Epic Failure

2010-09-11T23:57:00.005+08:00

Almost three weeks after the hostage incident, and finding myself wide awake and mentally active despite the time, I decided to open my blog and write about it. Why now, you might ask, when everyone else has gotten tired of the whole thing? Why now when all we wish to do is to sweep everything under the rug and forget that it ever happened? It's partly because I'm just bored and partly because I just wanted those know-it-alls to quiet down before I write my part. It doesn't matter that only a handful of you will read this. But I do hope that from my twisted point of you, you'll realize that I have a point.

I watched the entire scene unfold while watching the evening news. I witnessed the drama, as you all have, the gore, the suspense, the grief, the horror and the shame. The entire thing was an epic failure. By the end of the event, I was as dumbfounded as everyone else. I even switched channels and everything was being aired in all major news channel all over the world, CNN, BBC, Al-Jazeera. Once again, the Philippines is on the map and for all the wrong reasons.

The following days dragged on like a melodramatic soap opera, everybody knew the plot and still kept watching for lack of a better thing to watch. The criticisms for the Philippine police force, the government, and ultimately, to all Filipinos mounted with a global disgust for this third world country known for its maids, tuberculosis and media killings. It was comparable to a surgical procedure without anaesthesia, large open wounds without anyone knowing how to stop the bleeding.

Amazingly, it was then that all forms of experts gave their opinions on how things should've been handled, how things could have been done differently. The blame game was on, everyone was pointing at everyone as the one responsible for the fiasco. It was a circus of monkeys and apes, everybody was suspect on who ate the last banana. The police chiefs, the hostage negotiators, the DILG people, the SWAT, the Manila mayor all raised their arms claiming they aren't bloodstained. Don't blame it on me, it wasn't my fault. And yet, there was this bullet ridden bus with bullet ridden dead bodies sprawled on its floor. Everyone wanted to be heroes if it ended in success but no one wanted to take the blame if it failed, which it did.

There was this psychologist who said, they should've changed the negotiator when the point came where he lost his credibility to the hostage-taker. I did not even think for a minute he, the psychologist, himself was credible enough to speak of matters beyond conventional matters. This is a crisis situation for heaven's sake with a desperate man and a rifle. This is something you don't see in your office everyday. It's more complicated than that. I admired Jackie Chan who said that it was impossible to predict what could've happened there. If you tried to negotiate longer, there would still be people who would say you should've stormed earlier. And if you tried to storm the bus earlier, there would still be people who would say you shoudl've negotiated longer. It could've gone either way.

What alarmed me, was that, yeah everything went from bad to worse and far worse in minutes, but do you really want to rub it in? Do you really have to go out there, screaming in social networks, commenting on blogs and articles about how stupid your people and its leaders are? Do you really have to join in lambasting the government and its police force for its inadequacies? Chances are, your government already knows it, so can you just zip it and pray? I'm not saying, we curtail our freedom of speech here. There are people who should be held liable for this mess, we all know that. But when the whole world criticizes your government, your country and your people, do you really have to pull a dagger and stab it on the back? There are alot of them out there, Filipinos taking sides with the Chinese and all them haters criticizing the Philippines side by side. Can this be more sad than it already is? When the son turns his back on his family and condemns them alongside strangers? To these people, an advice: When everyone else is against you, stick to your own. Be like the mafia, never disagree in front of other people, but feel free to argue within your own home. That's how Israel survives despite being surrounded by Arab countries. That's how the Godfather built his empire. With undying loyalty from their own people.

True, this crisis has revealed that the PNP is a big failure. I pray, we, as a people, the Filipino people, are not.

Ces-maryosep!

2010-07-17T10:37:00.003+08:00

I watched Ces Drilon's primetime news show at ANC last night and marvelled at her complete ignorance and functional illiteracy about the plight of PTs here with the moratorium on Pinoy PTs taking the NPTE. It was amazing to see a news anchor impose her will on those being interviewed to the point she is sounding downright biased and not impartial as she should have been as a journalist. No wonder she never rose to the ranks of Karen Davila and Korina Sanchez or that she unwittingly travels to Sulu and gets kidnapped, this lady is nuts! Screws and bolts scattered all over the place. Hahahaha. I didn't see it coming though.

Anyway, there was mention of the PT thing on ANC and they invited some personalities which included people from DOLE, CHED, PRC and review centers. It was explained there that the government has no direct control over review centers as they are self-regulated. They cannot be under the Commission on Higher Education(CHED) as they are not degree giving bodies and therefore not under the jurisdiction of the said agency. Until then everything was fine and then Ces Drilon happened. Asking questions and making statements that are downright provoking but with an air of complete ignominy. To make it more painful, the president of one review center there answered with such a slow and weak response that made the interview almost unbearable. Are they both slow in the head? Drilon kept on rambling about how do you get your questions? Do you base it on books and which one? Are review centers still relevant? If the interviewee responds and the answer is something that doesn't appeal to Drilon's preference, she would shut the person up with "We are running out of time" or "We do not have time to delve into how you make your questions". Wow!

Are review centers still relevant? A nursing review owner was asked and he explained that the existence of review centers does not mean that schools do not educate their students well. However, there is a difference with having a theoretical knowledge about something and applying that knowledge to questions. Review centers, he said, teach students how to attack questions as test taking skills pertinent to licensure exams are not taught in schools. Of course, Drilon did not heed his explanation and casually moved on to the next questions.

Overall, the picture that was painted by Drilon was this. Allegations of cheating would hurt the chances of Pinoy healthcare professionals who want to work abroad and once more the review centers are to be blamed for this just like the June 2006 Nursing Licensure Exam. For review centers: You don't have to explain, just defend yourselves. For the government: Regulate them you assholes. They keep doing the same shit over and over again!

It truly is a grand exercise of ignorance by Drilon lambasting the licensure process but never having to undergo a licensure exam to get a job at ABS. Her credibility as a journalist is tarnished by her lack of research and feisty line of questioning that doesn't encourage meaningful conversation with her guests. Last night confirmed the adage: Light is faster than sound. That's why many people appear bright until you hear them speak. Thank you Ces Drilon for proving that statement true.

When a Month Becomes a Year

2010-07-13T23:26:00.002+08:00

I went home after lunch from school yesterday and went to catch up on my sleep. I awoke refreshed and took to tweaking my computer when the call came. It was a land-line phone call and on the other end is a person from my agency. I found it weird that they call me at home but I realized I must've missed their call on my celphone. It must be something urgent for them to have call me directly at home. Alas, it was. I have received my ATT that morning and a few hours later news about NPTE test taking blew up in everybody's faces. PT graduates from India, Pakistan, Egypt and the Philippines are barred from taking the NPTE until the autumn of 2011 when the NPTE-YRLY exam will be available due to leakage of exam questions which is a serious offense to the FSBPT.

In my stunned disbelief, I posted an angry message on my Facebook wall which was followed by a series of text messages and Facebook messages and chats from friends and classmates here and abroad regarding the PT crisis we are facing. Soon after, everyone knew we were all in knee-deep shit and not knowing how to get out of it. I was scheduled for an embassy interview on the 22nd and my exam is next month and they're telling me I have to postpone everything for a year? What the hell was that? I paced around for awhile blowing smoke to try and discern what am I to do and finally decided on my most primal defense mechanism. I need a beer, a cold one. Ahhh lots of 'em. To make the long story short, I am soon sitting with Carmz, Dennis and Jini at SV chugging down beer.

The issue regarding St Louis was a very old issue that everyone thought had already died. FSBPT has thoroughly examined the evidences that they have gathered and they perhaps hadn't found sufficient evidence to prove that the review center was doling out recalled questions to students. If they had, they wouldn't have lost twice at the Department of Justice regarding the matter. Why then would they single out the four countries with special mention of the Philippines and not allow their graduates to take the exam? The answer is simple. There are fewer and fewer American students taking up PT due to the high cost of education and the rigid exam structure which has a high mortality rate. India, Pakistan, Egypt and the Philippines on the other hand send a lot of PTs in the US to work. It is a certainty that the Americans may be threatened that foreigners would take over the PT healthcare field in their own backyard. Why resurrect an already dead issue with the Filipino review centers? Filipinos have an edge over their counterparts because they speak English well and can hold high positions in PT clinics compared to other PTs who are doomed not to rise high in the corporate ladder because of language barrier, like Korean PTs.

It is not our fault that many Filipinos can pass the exam and few Americans can. Yeah, blame it on leakage of test questions for your convenience. But I'm pretty sure a lot of employers and hospitals would appeal this moratorium on taking the NPTE. They would not take this matte sitting down. There are a lot of them who prefer Pinoy PTs because we communicate well and are hardworking. Hopefully, FSBPT will see the fact that it is downright immoral and inhumane to punish everyone for the sins of a few. We will not give up our dreams and we will fight against this senseless bigotry and restore justice to our profession.

Getting Old, Anyone?

2010-07-04T12:42:00.005+08:00

There are few subtle signs that your youth is slowly slipping away. It doesn't make you automatically old; it only means that your priorities in life are changing and that things that seem very important to you before seem less. Errr yes, that translates you you getting old (retracting my previous statement).

I have crossed the threshold of youth and maturity. Though I didn't cry (like Zaw and Tepi did when they heard What's Up by the 4 Non-blondes, the official I'm-25-and-nothing's-going-on-with-my-life-yet song), I felt a pang of sadness as I am indeed leaving a lot of fun things behind. I will be turning 26 on November, an age that makes me feel so old when I am with my students. Yet it is an age which my classmates at the center would regard as too young. An age in limbo where society doesn't necessarily dictate what you should do except perhaps hold a job. Some would suggest you have to settle down soon and some would suggest to have more stability first before jumping into marriage. Some would suggest you pursue your chosen profession and some would suggest you still have time to change directions if you want too. There are many more suggestions, I for one, don't even dare to pay even a little attention to. For now, I'm satisfied with my growth and how I am maturing (without sounding self-patronizing) rather gracefully.

I know I'm getting older because I can spend a Saturday night at home without any booze and yet not feel sorry for myself. It would have killed me when I was younger. I know I'm getting older because I don't mind jogging in a new subdivision quite a short distance from my house by myself. I know I'm getting older when I can listen to and talk about sex as casually as talking about the weather without blushing and getting wide-eyed. I'm getting older because I don't relate quite well with new singers and new songs and don't feel left out in the process as well. And perhaps, for now, I don't mind getting old at all. I've seen a lot of good and bad in my quarter-century of a lifetime. And I know, for sure, the best is yet to come.

Haters

2010-06-20T21:22:00.002+08:00

Some religions would claim that we are but reincarnations of our former selves which explains why we have soul mates. This would also explain why we have people we are immediately comfortable with at first meeting, the so-called "kagaanan ng loob". It is believed that in our former life, these people (in their former lives) were our friends and companions. But I'm not writing about soul mates right now. Rather, I am writing about its antithesis, of which I don't know its name.

Every once in a while you get to encounter people who immediately get on your nerves without trying. Often these people aren't doing anything to you and most of the time they are even nice and meek. But still, there is something inside you that stirs, a storm of hatred and contempt which perfectly ruins your perfect day upon seeing them. It may sound mean, but I never fail to comment about them each time we have an encounter. Is it because they were our enemies on our past life? Or is it because they reflect what we are afraid of becoming ourselves?

Since people I hate upon sight are people you don't know, there would be no bearing writing about them. Instead, I'd like to write about celebrities who gets my irk. First on my list is Samuel L. Jackson. I automatically shut off the TV each time I see him. I don't know why but he is really irritating. Sarah Jessica Parker seems like a very nice lady but I hate her as well. And I cannot understand how they always praise her for her sense of style which errr... doesn't even look stylish. But among them, nobody takes the cake but Renee Zellweger. God how I hate her. I don't have to know why, I just do. Lolz

Hating people without any reason may seem mean to other people but I don't care. It is perfectly reasonable to hate them as I'm pretty sure there are others as well who hate me for no apparent reason as well.

Time Calls Me Home

2010-03-11T19:15:00.004+08:00

It's been a long long time since I've written and even now I don't have any intention of writing. I am practically staring at the keyboard without anything to say, to write eventhough at times I have a million things to say. There is not single soul here where I can just blurt out anything to, without feeling guilty, misjudged or misunderstood. I have been here in Manila for a couple of months, and though I could get used to the big city lifestyle, God knows I want to go home.

The way I've been raised and the way I have handled myself with people really helps alot with my initial adjustment here. And I am streetsmart enough to distinguish the crooks from the innocent bystanders. I was overwhelmed though, walking one day through the busy, colorful streets of Quiapo, to see an ocean of faces, each going their own way, not noticing each other, as if everyone's existence seem non-existent at all. To see a lot of faceless people cramped in one place is rather sad. In a city of 10-million strong, everyone is a stranger. Everyone is alone. And that is sad.

I get-by day-to-day in a monotonous routine of going to school, meeting the same people who I will leave behind in a few months time. I miss home a lot. I miss that small town I left behind. The place may not be as exciting, the women not as exquisite and sophisticated. At least the place hasn't lost its heart. Not everyone there is waiting to pounce on the weak. People there have faces. Faces recognizable through unintroduced acquaintances. They may be nameless, but definitely not faceless. So here I am. Waiting. Waiting for time to take me home...

Poem XVI (From Verses of the Red Rock)

2009-11-30T21:12:00.002+08:00

(To the victims of the Maguindanao massacre)

The earth awoke to a solemn morn
To hushed whispers of a looming cloud
Fear is tangible--it hovers like fog
Too cold and thick to swallow.
The roads are long and winding
And the journey seems neverending.
Shadows rise on the distance
Slowly, slowly darkness came.
The shot burned skin and shattered bones
Lying sprawled and bleeding,
The sun shown the stairway to oblivion
This final breath liberates the spirit
But eternally chains the burdened soul.

8:21pm 113009

Errrrr.......

2009-11-23T11:40:00.002+08:00

I have, once more, almost forgotten the password to my own blog. 2 months have passed since i wrote anything. In those two months, the faculty has been decimated by half. We have been struggling to keep the College working. Since both of my remaining colleagues are holding administrative duties, I was given a teaching load large enough to wear me to the bones. The load was no joke. It more than twice the load I handled a few months back. That shouldn't have been much of a problem if I have mastered the topics by having taught them for a long time. Problem is, a lot of the subjects given to me are those I have practically never bothered to study in college then and those that require me to teach strucutre and discipline to students which, of course, wasn't me at all. I strive on, trying my best to study everything and prepare well. But then again, I am no superman. I cannot be efficient in delivering if I wasn't even given ample time to prepare well for my classes. In a way, I have become the monster I didn't want myself to be. I never believed in mediocrity when it comes to teaching. And yet these circumstances drive me towards that pole. The transformation isn't complete. I hope it will never come to this. It ends here.

Powetree

2009-09-11T10:39:00.003+08:00

I ate an early dinner yesterday evening and crawled into my bed to get a very late siesta. I grabbed a small notebook from the shelf along the way to try to read myself to sleep. The notebook was rather familiar to me. It was a collection of poetry I wrote from years ago which I intend to (hopefully) publish in the future.

Reading through the poems I wrote, I felt a little sad. They were very powerful, intense and passionate--as I was then. I wrote with angst, with vengeance for trespasses both real and imagined. I wrote with the blind conviction of a fanatic, blood and tears pouring from pen into parchment. I wrote like a victim. I wrote like a god.

I don't know which one made me more sad--having to read the anxiety and the drama that goes along with puberty and channeled into dark poetry or having to read sad but beautiful poetry written by my own hands realizing I will never get close to writing them again. I remember it was so easy to write then. I would lie in bed, with a pen and whatsoever paper I can get my hands on--tissue, scratch, receipts--and write. The outcomes were not great all the time, but I think they're rather good. Now, each time I managed to find the time and be inspired to write about something, I break. The words don't come as easily anymore. It seems my hands no longer remember how to write, my mind to imagine and my soul to empathize. Is it because I grew up and left all the angst behind me? Is it because requitted love is not as inspiring as an unrequitted one? Is it because I finally got to realize that poetry as an art eventually becomes obsolete when work and personal responsibilities eventually take the spotlight in someone's life?

As I write now, I remember the poetry I wrote and their words reverberated in my core. I guess we all do need something to get us through the day. I wrote them to get through mine. I think, it was wrong to feel sad reading through them. Moreover, I should've been proud. For those brief years, at least, I was able to write like a victim. And I wrote like a god.

The Heat is On

2009-08-24T10:38:00.002+08:00

As I predicted, the past two weeks had been very hectic for me. I can breathe a little easier for now, but that is just about it. I have so much to write about and so little time to do so. So I'll keep this post rather short.

Swamped with work, classes and make-up classes for two weeks, my body is just about to give up. Adding more to the stress, is the pressure of processing my papers as soon as possible to have myself recredentialed to another state. My first choice, of course, is Ohio so I can watch a live game by Lebron james and the Cleveland Cavaliers. But then, Lebron may be transferring to another team come 2010. I am now considering Pennsylvania as my other State. The main reason I chose that is because Tepi will be going there as well. So at least, if I have someone close to me with me, I won't feel as nervous and as stressed as I would be alone. For the record, I have never ever been completely independent my whole life and that would be a very big challenge for me. A year has already passed since I passed my Toefl and I believe once I have started processing my papers, I would have to take a leave off from work to study the stateboards. Were it still taken in Guam, I will have studied while working at the same time. But because of the leakage scandal and the test's transferrence to the mainland, the level of exam difficulty I believe was raised three notches higher. Woe is me.

Adding to the stress, is the possibility that the PT office will be virtually empty by the end of the first semester. Ms Aj, Ms Ronz, and Ms Sheila are closest as possible to having themselves interviewed. Tepi will follow soon after. Left lurking in the school corridors would be Raymund and yours truly. To add to that, it is increasingly difficult to find new faculty to replace them. Furthermore, the College is also planning to open an OT department to fill the soon-to-be incredibly state-of-the-art PT department at the hospital.

It makes me want to jump out the window from the pressure. And I know soon, either Zaw, Jenny, or Emz will draw first blood on that US license. Once, one of them has it, I believe that everything will snowball. I hope it's not too early to say that the predictions of former teachers like Doc Alekz that our batch is very lucky because by the time we graduate, the demand for PT in the US will rise again. For the time being, it seems so. I hope I can get there on time.

Ang Sa Facebook na Bala

2009-08-10T08:48:00.003+08:00

This and next week would probably be two of my most hectic weeks for the entire semester. I have a lot to do, stuff to finish, books to read, practicals to schedule, schedules to reschedule and I am wearing out. I would've wanted to take solace in alcohol but I don't think it would be helpful at this time. I probably won't be able to get drunk for the next two weeks. Soooo sad.

I thought I was supposed to have a class right at this time but Ms AJ told me she would still be the lecturer, and so here I am, writing once more.

Since I am virtually stuck on Facebook, I want to rant about some things. I have about 1400+ friends on FB. Don't be alarmed. I am not that friendly anyway. I added people I don't know because of my Mafia Wars application. I placed them on a list called "Loser Mafia Friends" and I placed people I know on my "Real Frenz" list so I can chat up with them if I wanted to. If an FB friend post in his/her wall in a foreign language aside from English, I automatically hide him/her. Even real friends who post nonsense are automatically hidden. I also hide friends who post every few minutes to announce whatever bullstuff they are doing as if people are dying to take part in the blow-by-blow account of their lives. I don't delete them as friends but I hide them. Bwahaha.

One thing that also pisses me off and merits automatic inhibition from my wall feeds are friends who post about their love lives on FB. Don't get me wrong. Professing your love for your partner, spouse, fubu or whoever is perfectly okay as long as you don't do it on a regular basis. Posting "Sigh! I miss him so much", followed after an hour or two by "Love is...." followed by "Wishes to spend the day with him" sends a shiver up my scoliotic spine. WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR F*****G LOVELIFE OR YOUR NEED FOR ONE? You don't have to advertise your profession of love for whoever prick you are interested with because NOBODY cares except you. The prick is probably having an affair somewhere right now and never uses Facebook kay nasa Friendster stage pa lang xa. I mean why do you have to post everything? Why? Because it's your wall and you can do anything with it? That's right. As I also reserve my right to hide you and never hear from you again. We are still friends though, technically, but that's just about it.

Murphy's Law

2009-07-31T23:59:00.002+08:00

Murphy's Law states that whatever bad might happen will. Today is an exemplary proof of that.

I woke up early and finished off my facebook duties playing all my applications, accepting friends and making comments. I ate breakfast and prepared my travelling bag. I was going to Bacolod to meet up with Dame for a nice and cozy weekend R and R. It was a rainy day so I wore a jacket and went straight to school. I had a short class at 12 lunchtime and my stockpile of testpapers are still in limbo awaiting checking. The bag was quite heavy, with Dame's hair spa containers, lotions and other preservatives. Plus, I bought a book along so I could study for Monday's class.

After class, I went straight to Biscocho Haus to buy some pasalubongs and to eat lunch there as well. The rain was starting to pour a little heavier and the smell of steaming hot dinuguan is too tantalizing to resist. Alas, they don't have rice anymore. They even ran out of puto. After I finished buying a box of biscocho, I decided to eat somewhere else. Fortunately, across the street was a small eatery serving bopiz, one of my favorite spicy foods ever. The food was divine and I felt better even after carrying my heavy travelling bag over one shoulder and the box of biscocho on the other hand.

Then, I remembered I had to get some money from the ATM machine so I took a detour towards SM Delgado. I went straight to BDO Valeria and waited in line. The line was relatively long so I was starting to get impatient. As my turn was nearing, the guy who was withdrawing kept for very long. I saw on the screen something written like "Please take your cash". Problem was, the screen never changed for about 10 minutes. The ATM hanged and crashed. I wasted my time waiting in line for nothing. Irked but helpless I crossed the street and went inside SM BDO. 2 ATM machines were offline, the other one can only process balance inquiries and the last one had people falling in line like fans wanting to see their dead idol in Rudy Fernandez's wake. This time, I'm starting to get impatient walking around for nothing, carrying a heavy bag and straining my shoulders. I strode towards BDO Quezon, hoping for a ray of light. The stupid contraption of a machine called ATM was once again offline. Cursing under my breath, I stomped towards Robinson's to get my money. The rain was pouring but it was humid and I was sweating. My armpits and my brows were sweating profusely like I had a workout. And as fate would have it, offline man ang depota nga ATM sa Robinson's! Argh!

I angrily texted Dame if it would be possible for her to withdraw from her ATM and I will just replace it when I come back and she said yes. I checked my watch and hurriedly commuted towards the pier. When I got off the jeepney, I saw people walking away from the pier and I happily grinned that I made it on time. Time check 1:45. Next trip is 2pm Weesam Express and 2:15pm OceanJet. I will make it! Hurray! My luck is finally changing!

Boom! I spoke to soon. The booking counter for OceanJet was swarmed with commuters. They were noisy, rowdy and wet from the rain. They looked like refugees from war. As I entered the crowd, I heard the terrible whispers of my fellow would-be passengers. Weesam Express announced at 10am that they will cancel all their trips from Iloilo to Bacolod for today. Apparently, their two boats need repairs. This explains why everyone is crowding at Ocean Jet. It's Friday and everybody wanted to kill to go home. I fell in line to get a ticket. The line is a short version of the Great Wall of China but wound like multiple letter Z's attached end to end to accomodate everyone. To make matters worse, it was raining. Hard. As I inched my way towards the counter, they announced that the 3:45 trip is already fully booked. Steam rose from my nostrils as I gritted my teeth in frustration. Soon after they announced they are giving out 5:15 pm tickets. Chance passengers only. WHAT? YUDIPOTA! GINAGO NA GID NA YA! I'm wetter than a pornstar's mons from falling in line in the pouring rain tas hambalon lang chance passenger ko? YUT imo na lang na! Some people approached me and told me to go to Dumangas and take a RO-RO with them. It was okay actually I'd be paying 250 pesos for the entire trip. Problem is I would arrive in the evening when I don't have a bus or a van to take me to Dame's hometown. that would be a double whammy.

Defeated and chilled, I decided to just go home. I tetxed Dame and she was very understanding about it thankfully. As I was walking away, I made a mental image of myself cursing the heavens and shouting "Bakit ako pa?" BAKIT AKO PAAAAA...... kag nadanlog ko. Mayo lang ke nakapanguyapot sa railings. Ay linte na pangabuhi ni ah. -.-

Licenxa

2009-07-30T22:47:00.004+08:00

I almost jumped out of my chair in shock last night when I heard that only 2 out of the 6 board takers from school passed the PT licensure exams held during the weekend. It's a big blow to the morale of the institution and the college. It is a bigger blow to the PT faculty, including myself, because such result puts into question the competency of its mentors to educate. And although I have been teaching for less than a year and I haven't really handled this particular batch of boardtakers, still this does not spare me from the burden of having to bear the dismay of those on top. We only had a 33% passing rate when the national rate is about 40+%. That is dismal.

Right after the board exams, the takers confided to Ms Tep and Ms Ronz that the APK (Anatomy, Physiology and Kinesiology) part of the exam was a killer. APK used to be the easiest as most of the questions were recycled. I noticed that year after year the exam gets harder and harder to pass. Yes, when the demand for PTs abroad went from a surge to a standstill, the exams (including the one I took in 2006) were a bit easier. Now that the demand is on the rise again (thanks to the baby boomer generation), the exams tend to get a little bit harder each time. This does not spare the State Board Exams necessary to work in the US. I remember 3-4 years back a lot of people kept on passing the US exam on the first take. These days, if you pass the exam on the first take it's either you are indeed well prepared, smart or just damn lucky.

I had a lot of hopes for this batch of takers. I even told my colleagues at work that the least we can get is a 4 out of 6. I was even betting for a clean slate. However, this did not translate into reality. I am frustrated. Part of me wanted to console those who did not pass telling them in God's time we shall be colleagues as well. But a part of me is still in shock. A thousand people took the exam, 400+ passed. You only need 1 out that 400+ new licenses. How come you did not get it? The main reason is: YOU LOST FOCUS. The local board exam is overrated. It's just that from the academe, the PT student has already conditioned his mind that the exam is a terrible, extremely difficult test that it must be a gargantuan prize to pass it. It is NOT. If it were so hard, only 5 people out of a 100 should pass if that were the case. It's not luck and it is not God's will. God's will is for you to be prepared come exam time. He will not just wave his miraculous hand and make you pass if you did not prepare well or if you lost focus somewhere along the way even if you went to church everyday and lit candles for his glory.

For what it's worth though, a license is never a trophy for being a good and decent PT. There may be a lot out there who have good decision-making skills in the clinic who do not have a license. I, for one, have a license but I am not as confident in the clinic as I am in the platform of a classroom. What's the use of having a license then aside from the legalities and stuff? It makes you credible and statured in the field of PT. That's why we all aspire to have it.

For those who passed, kudos and goodluck in your career. For those who didn't, I will not give you a pat on the back and tell you it's okay because I know it's not. I will not tell you better luck next time because I don't believe in luck. I will not patronize and I will not pretend to understand how you feel because, honestly, I don't know. I will just let you be, let you rise from the ashes, build up momentum and take that elusive piece of plastic with your name and number on it. By then, I will shake you hand, congratulate you, patronize a little bit, and together, perhaps, we shall altogether reach for our American dreams.

Uniporme

2009-07-28T17:43:00.003+08:00

It's been a terribly long time since I filled up my pages. I promised to revive this sorry excuse for a blog but unfortunately, since I don't have something worthwhile to talk about I decided to put it on hold again.

I'm screwed. I have a lot of things to do at hand in preparation for the compressed Midterms at school and yet I have to leave it all behind when I got to Bacolod on the weekend. Also, I can no longer roam freely around the campus. A new directive for the faculty to comply with is that we should wear a color-coded uniform for each day of the weak and that means I have to wear slacks. It should have been easy just to obey this new rule. Problem is, I hate wearing slacks and polo shirts. As for you who know me, I have always been the T-shirt and jeans kinda guy. So everytime I go to school, I am compelled to hide within the corners of my college office and only venture out into the wilderness if and only if it's utterly important. I have to decrease the chances of me meeting up with a superior and get reprimanded for my uniform. I can't even go to the canteen to have lunch lest I be confronted.

I certainly cannot understand the concept of me, the great Toto Dyud, wearing faculty uniform to "look" professional. That is pure bullstuff. As a teacher, I prepare well for my classes, even burning the midnight oil which I didn't do way back in college. I discuss well and with passion. There are many out there who wear their uniforms but suck at educating kids. They may look professional, but damn me they are tramps. There are many who are overly strict over matters that should not be of great concern like hounding students over the color of their hair, or ponytail, or missing pin or cufflinks. Trivial matters like that should not be too fussed over with. A simple comment to catch the student's attention is enough. Anyway, they are in college. They know what's right from wrong. You don't have to impose your will over them. I find some professors so pathetic they constantly report student activities to college heads. By constantly, I mean always. Like, don't they have anything more worthwhile to do with they bloody lives?

However, in a way, I feel sorry for them. Not only because they are losers who want to make young people miserable, but also because all their lives they followed the rules. They never broke them. They are these people whose lives are so patterned and predictable the only things that could break that mundanity is a stroke or a freak accident resulting in death. These are people who have nothing exciting to talk about their lives with their grandchildren only that they did very well in school. It's a sad thing really. Nothing worthwhile ever happened to their lives except that they went to school, graduated, worked, got married, had children, retired, and died.

Sooner or later, I will be forced to comply with the school policy lest I find myself out of work. But never fear, my adoring legion of admirers. I will still be the great Toto Dyud that you love and worship--- just a little more cultured, say, a little more "professional".

Octopus Man

2009-07-05T22:14:00.002+08:00

For days now, I kept on seeing ads for the Discovery Channel documentary entitled "Octoman". I was actually intrigued by the documentary. Luckily enough, I managed to catch its premier tonight.

The Octopus-Man is a freakshow favorite here in the Philippines. He has seven limbs in total, politically incorrect as an octopus should have eight. I was surprised to learn he is an Ilonggo. Had he been a singer, an actor, an athlete, or a beauty queen, the media would probably have had his face plastered all over the frontnews praising how his talent or beauty has given "honor" to his country. Alas, beauty queen he is not. He is a freak of nature. He has had an unformed twin brother attached to him, hence the extra limbs. His only bet on newsworthiness is a short skit on features, Sagip Kapamilya, Wish Ko Lang, Maalaala mo Kaya or Kuya Kim's MatangLawin. If I were completely apathetic, I would call him hideous. The kind of ugly that will put Quasimodo to shame. I am not talking about his face (which is rather average), but his overall appearance is simply appalling.

As would have been expected, the only job he's been in is showbusiness--albeit not the red-carpet type. He is a carnival star, raking in his income by attracting fiesta goers to stare at his deformities. However, 10 years ago he decided to finally end his life with the moving carnival. He eloped with a magician's assistant, ran off to a far-off place somewhere in Panay island, and raised a daughter, who I find to be rather charming and pretty. Nobody knew where he went, not even the carnival people.

He was finally located by a researcher and was interviewed. At present, he is already suffering from quite a lot of ailments. To make the long stroy short, he was brought to Manila to be examined for his condition. Examination revealed him to have high blood pressure and so on and so fort. The hypertension and stomach ulcers were attributed to the extra appendages on his body. It was found out that his extra appendages were indeed a twin brother but he is parasitic by nature. Therefore, he shares the blood, nerves and nutrients of the Octoman.

After careful analysis, lab exams and all, it was revealed that he could be operated upon. What's more, the doctors are offering the operation for free. Octoman went home and discussed the proposal to his family. According to the doctors, he's got a good chance of success. Now here comes the anti-climactic part. THE FOOL DID NOT GET THE OPERATION! His reason was, God made me this way. I have accepted it and I will die this way. What the fuck was that all about? What a complete waste of airtime. What a complete waste of MY time! Damn, there are soooo many people who need operations everyday and they can't have it cause they don't have money. And here comes Octoman being offered a complicated operation for free to save his life and improve his quality of life and he fucking refuses it. Because God made him this way.

Yes, I think maybe you would think I am being severely and unwarrantedly blasphemous. But damn is he stupid! If I were an Octoman and I prayed to God to make me normal, he wouldn't snap his fingers or zap me to normalcy. That is too predictable. God works in mysterious ways and he only gives opportunities that would make Octoman "normal". The first one he gave was that magician assistant and their daughter. The next one would be this free operation by experts. Now, which one is more disrespectful to God, my ranting about how people just accept how things are because God made them that way or him turning his back on a perfectly humbling philanthropic experience that would have been a work of mercy for the doctors?

Instead of I getting inspired by that docu, it made me angry and feel a lot less sorry for him. Stupid people irritate me. Stupid people making God as an excuse for their cowardice or melodrama make me furious. And stupid people getting airtime make me livid. I got all of that tonight.

From your biggest fan

2009-06-26T22:42:00.003+08:00

His name is always on the tabloids reeling in scandal and negative publicity. That homo. That pedo. That has-been of a popstar.

Today his name is once again on the papers. This time, they announce his tragic end. It is a rather sad ending for a King who was brought down to his knees by the humiliation of his bankruptcy and alleged pedophilia.

Till now, I think everyone, fan and critic alike, were secretly hoping and waiting for a true comeback from the self-professed King of Pop. They were waiting for him to electrify the stage by his performances, shatter the mic through his vocal prowess, and ultimately revive his genius. That day never came. It will not come at all.

Jacko is dead. And the world mourns for what was, what could've been and what should've been. After all, MJ was a music icon, a big one at that. He sold the most records ever behind Elvis and the Beatles. He made MTV a household name with Thriller. In the music arena, MJ was as near to a god as anyone could've imagined.

I am a big fan. I mourn his death more deeply than I mourned Francis M's. I was a secret dream of mine to be able to watch a live performance by Michael. It is a dream yet unfulfilled. However, there is a silver lining to his death. Had he died 20 years after, his name would've been buried in bad rep so deep not even Tom Hanks can brink back any integrity into it. His sudden death would drive people to listen to his music once again, same as what happened to Francis M's. Through this, his name will be forever etched in history and his music will be played for all eternity.

Godspeed Michael. Rest in Peace.

Pay It Forward

2009-06-26T11:16:00.002+08:00

Two days ago, I happened to catch on a movie entitled Pay It Forward on HBO. It stars Haley whatsisname, the child star on Bruce Willis' The Sixth Sense who immortalized the lines "I can see dead people". With him is Helen Hunt, Jon Bon Jovi and the remarkable Kevin Spacey. I've always been smitten by the subtle and powerful performances of Kevin Spacey since I saw K-PAX. However, I am equally impressed by this Haley boy who gained my well-deserved respect after this movie.

Haley plays a 7th-grader raised in a broken home with a mom who's a recovering alcoholic and is seldom home. Spacey plays his school teacher who inspired him to develop a Pay It Forward principle. By virtue of this principle, a person is required to do one big and extraordinary good deed to three people. Those three people have to pay it forward meaning they also have to do good deeds to three other people each. It is a rather ambitious endeavor, relying purely on a person's goodwill. And as such, failure will ultimately be its end.

Pardon my apathy. In real lfe, something like this will never happen. Doing something great for someone you perhaps do not know at all may perhaps be noticed and lauded by society, but more often than not it will be forgotten, shaken off as a happenstance that won't happen again, or not recognized at all. As part of the Filipino culture, doing a great deed for someone requires him, by virtue of utang-na-loob or indebtedness, to pay you back in kind. Failure to do this will deem him an ingrate, a leech, someone who doesn't know how to look back from where he came from. If you are the doer of the great good deed to someone without asking for something in return just a wish that he also pay it forward to someone else, you will be considered a showoff, a fool, a politician in the making, a naive creep, or someone who attaches strings to everything. It is a hopeless scenario if you ask me.

Inspite of it all, however, there is nothing wrong in hoping. There is nothing wrong in having faith in people. There is nothing wrong in believing that people do apply their better nature. Naive as it may seem, sometimes we don't have to make things all that complicated. Only adult minds make things complicated. At the end of the day, we all have to contribute if we want to make this cruel world less cruel may it be in deeds and dreams that may seem miniscule compared to what rich philantropists do. It doesn't matter. As long as we have faith, we all have the potential to make life suck less to ourselves and to other people. Though this sunshine disposition is usually out of my league, today at least it is in.

....... ZZZzzZzZzzz....

2009-06-23T19:55:00.003+08:00

I am reviving my blog. Nah, resurrecting it back from the tombs of Aku. This doesn't mean I now have the luxury of time to write. Nor does it mean my passion for writing or for any other literary pursuit has taken the front seat of the present. I am writing because I am compelled by time. Or, more accurately, the seeming lack of it.

No, I am not dying and I am not sick. I am simply getting old. I will soon be joining the throng of once-so-young-but-not-anymore yuppies tearfully singing along the 4 Non-Blondes What's Up. Nine short months have passed since passing my Toefl exam. Nothing happened. Nothing's happening. I don't think that being a teacher has helped me in my pursuit for that elusive American dream. Even now, I am losing the spark, the flame of what moved me to become a teacher in the first place. Gone is the almost berserker-like fervor of which I envisioned myself transforming and educating the younger generation. All that is left is the pressure of meeting deadlines and completing school duties.

I'm not even sure of when and where I lost the spark. Perhaps because it is with the indifference shown by the students. Or with their apparent lack of appreciation for your sacrifices. Maybe it's because I finally understand that I may not be able to become as magnificent as I have always thought I would be. Or maybe it's because I feel that my charisma alone will not change the mediocre minds of the many sheeps I tend to everyday. Or perhaps it comes with the hopelessness of having to look after sheeps with brainpower comparable to that of a microscopic amoeba.

Or maybe I am just getting old. It is human nature I believe. Few mentors maintain their level of enthusiasm for instruction throughout their lifetime which explains why only few of them get remembered. Little by little, you get dragged to the pits of mundanity. Until eventually, everything becomes routine. Now everything is routine.

I am old. I am bored. Nothing has happened. Nothing's happening. Pray, something will happen soon....

April Reign

2009-04-28T17:08:00.002+08:00

I got so stuck on Facebook I almost forgot the password to my own blog. Haha. Well, I went home under a humid midmorning sun and wasn't really expecting rain. As soon as I got home, I rushed straight to the PC to play,of course, ate my lunch, and went for a quick siesta. Then suddenly I heard the crackling sound of whips from the sky. Rain fell so hard and so quickly, I rushed to turn off the aircon and the PC avoiding the possible risk of them imploding due to electrical surge or whatsoever. Lightning and thunder rolled with the heavy rain, totally unexpected on a summer midafternoon.

Little by little, the horrors in those documentaries by Al Gore, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Edward Norton are starting to unfold before our very eyes. This is the effect of climate change and global warming. Last year, Panay experienced its worst storm ever with 200-800+ people (depending on the source) dead. The extremely heavy, storm-caliber rains experienced just this afternoon is also a direct consequence of that. How did this happen? In simple terms, I will explain it like the omniscient philosopher that I am. Bwahaha! Due to increased carbon dioxide in the atmosphere ( from fossil fuels, factories, dumpsites, cattle and swine farming etc), the temperature of the earth gets warmer. If the temperature gets warmer, of course evaporation from oceans increase in volume. Increased evaporation equals more cloud formations. More cloud formations equals heavier rains. And the cycle would begin again.

A bigger threat with these crusades to fight global warming is the mere fact that people don't want to give up the lifestyle that is comfortable. Because of GW, people turn on their aircons. More aircons equals more energy expenditure. More energy expenditure equals more fossil fuel burning. More fossil fuel burning equals more global warming.

Feeling depressed now? Just wait next time when I have the energy to write about galcial melting and its effects on the price of ice water on the sari-sari store. Haha. For now, I'm signing off again.

The Most Dangerous Zodiac Sign

2009-04-07T11:45:00.003+08:00

Is a crab. Cancer. Just returned home from my granddad's home where we attended Uncle Warren's wake. Uncle Warren died of cancer. I will always remember him as a very kind uncle who keeps on feeding you salad every five minutes just becoz he's already drunk. He almost always seem to be drunk, with the red chest and slurred speech. You see, my uncle is an alcoholic. Not the noisy, irritating, out-of-control type (like yours truly), but rather he's the attentive one, the caring one who comes to you and asks you "Nagutom ka to? Kuha taka salad ha". The only problem is, he does that every five minutes or so. As long as you are in his line of vision, you will always be full. He's the eldest of my dad's siblings (they're 9 kids) and he will sorely be missed. Yesterday morning, we bade farewell to my grandad and mom and all the uncles and aunties and cousins that were there. I was saddened when I kissed Auntie Janet (his wife) goodbye and she said, "To, ikaw na lang siguro mabantay Ceres ke wala na si Uncle Warren mo". Ahay nasubuan ako. As long as I can remember, basta magpapuli na kami nga daan from Nabas, Aklan it was my Uncle Warren who always volunteers to go out in the hot summer sun to wait for a Ceres bus. And now he's gone.

Because of this zodiac particular zodiac sign. He died of lung cancer after years of smoking and drinking. Nope his liver was not so bad. He died of pneumonia secondary to chemotherapy for his cancer. This scares me in a way I've never felt before. My Auntie Mila, my dad's sister and who probably is the most beautiful among the Lasernas, also has cancer. I remember her Greek features, high nose, porcelain skin and beautiful eyes. I haven't seen her for a long time but my cousins told me she had been reduced to skin and bones. Her painscale is at 10/10. I can't imagine why good people such as them get to die painful deaths. There are so many assholes in the world who deserve this. Not them.

I'm scared. Not just because it's confirmed that we have familial tendency for cancer. Not just because I can't afford cancer treatment. But more so because I don't have an unwavering faith in my God. So far, I seem to have lost it (again) somewhere along the way. And that bothers me. Much more than this zodiac sign of a shellfish with pincers.

Graduation Day= More Call Center Agents!

2009-03-28T17:31:00.004+08:00

Today is the school's graduation day. Today marks my 3rd year out of school. Three short years translates to three long years for a boy who dreams to make it big---sooner rather than later.

I always believed that I was never born mediocre. I also foresaw that in my classmates in college. We were a bright opinionated batch, mostly misunderstood but still bright altogether. We seldom bow down to the demands of the school bureaucracy, although admittedly sometimes arrogantly so. We shun most things generally acceptable to other batches simply because we don't believe in crap like dancing or singing in the university weeks. By doing so, we have alienated ourselves from the rest of the batches below and ahead of us.

The scenario was bittersweet. Here we are, marching to the tune of You And Me Against the World (politically incorrect I may add, kay kahinay kg kasubo sang song), yet also secretly longing for social acceptance in a community of academics and conformists.

Yes, things didn't turn out so bad after all. We didn't turn out so bad after all. In fact, we are prouder than ever. My only regret is that because of our strict cohesion to each other, we also somewhat dimmed each other's potential for excellence. But the bonds that made us us will not be broken. We are victorious.

We were never born mediocre.

Bagsak!

2009-03-27T12:53:00.003+08:00

As a teacher, I'm black and white when it comes to grades. If you pass, you pass. If you fail, you fail. I don't care if you're always absent or always late so long as you don't irritate me and you pass all the requirements ( e. g. homeworks, etc) in my class. Moreover, I don't care if you sleep in my class or eat in my class so long as when I give a test you don't complain. That's the kind of teacher I am.

2 days ago, we had a university-wide send-off ceremony for the upcoming interns. Before that, I I proctored for their exam in Ortho-Pros. They all looked handsome and beautiful in their semen-white intern uniforms. Their excitement was evident but the hovering shadow of basi-may-failure-ako-kag-indi-ako-makaintern serves a bitter taste on the tongue. Some of them didn't invite their parents over, for fear ( or shame ) that all of these will just be exercises in futility once the grades are out. That same afternoon, I checked the papers and gave my grade inputs to Sir Mund for collation. The results were dire, he told me 3 girls failed in Ortho-Pros. They will still fail even if they perfect my Major Prax in Taping.

Yesterday, after the year-end general PT assembly, the faculty had the deliberation for the 4th year students. It was heartbreaking to see them. 4 people out of 8 are in danger of not getting to internship on time. A waste of time. A waste of energy. A sad, sad day.

Morbidly Obese

2009-03-22T10:52:00.003+08:00

I'm F-A-T! I hate being an adult. You get F-A-T! I remember it's way easier to lose weight in college than now. It's easier to lose the beergut in college than now. It's easier to make money than now. Life was bittersweet then but hell it's a lot better than now. I can't seem to fit into my clothes anymore. And hell I don't want to give up my illicit love affair with the equine race ( read: redhorse and colt45 parehos kabayo n_n ).

I'm fat. Please help me lose weight without dieting and exercise. Please.

P.S. No surgeries please. I need a miracle to get rid of the fat. Not mere medical intervention.

Green With Envy

2009-03-17T22:27:00.002+08:00

Is it me? Or is it human to be phlegm-green with envy if you encounter someone from the past who managed to make it big in business? Not just big, really big. You still have traces of that someone, familiar to you, a companionship no one can really take away. And yet, the sheer distance of where your paths led you now closing down again as the roads take you back together. I'm in awe at how easy it was for that someone to buy this and that and yet you still talk bout the old times like nothing's changed. Except he's made it. I haven't yet. Possibly never get that far.

Is it because of family and connections? Possibly a little push for maturity. Is it out of luck? Or hardwork? Or proper timing? Maybe a little of everything. So here I am. Eyes wide open in awe. An approving pat on the back. And a little slit behind the ears oozing with a tinge of envy. Perhaps a little unintentional bruise on the self-esteem. But ultimately happy for finding a friend you've almost lost along the long journey of conquering all your dreams.

Green is for envy. So is for hope.

A Good Day to Die

2009-03-15T22:11:00.001+08:00

Worst fears confirmed... I'm lost... Hurt...Numb....Jaded....

I have board review sked for tom and I can't concentrate... Numb... Jaded....

Squatter Power!

2009-03-13T10:07:00.003+08:00

I watched the critically-acclaimed and award-winning masterpiece Slumdog Millionaire a week ago and it captivated me. The cinematography, the storyline and the child actors were perfect. I think the filmmakers gave justice to the harsh reality of living in slums without glamorizing on the triumphs that will eventually come the way of the main characters.

The movie focuses on the harrowing life of people living in extreme poverty in the streets of Mumbai, the largest city in India. Caught in the middle of the social storm is Jamal Malik and his older brother Salim. The movie starts with a torture scene involving a now-grown-up Jamal and the local police. He was eventually tied-down and was asked to explain how he was able to manage answering the grueling questions in the game show Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? The daunting story of his life in the slums, marred by tragedy, crime and sibling rivalry slowly begins to unfold as he patiently clarifies how he was able to answer each question leading to the next top question and instantly making him a millionaire.

In the poster release of the movie a tagline in a WW2BAM format says something like: What does it take to find a lost love? A. Money B. Smarts C. Luck D. Destiny. If you come to look at it Jamal, even as child, was naturally lucky. He got an autograph signed by his favorite movie actor while stinking so bad after jumping off into a shit-hole. Some of the questions during the game required deep inherent knowledge about many queer things and yet he was able to answer it purely out of luck which includes the final 20-million rupee question. His brother Salim, on the other hand, was also naturally envious of Jamal's luck. He locked the comfort room's door from the outside so that Jamal couldn't see his moviestar idol; he sold Jamal's autographed picture of that moviestar to a local collector; he let go of Latika (the girl they unoffically adopted as their sister) when they escaped from the clutches of a local syndicate and many more. His envy, however, never gets in the way of him protecting his younger brother. So you might actually say that part of Jamal's luck is his brother's protective love of him. In a way, Salim has an innate hatred of Jamal, for Jamal with luck gets most of the things they both wanted including the love of Latika. Salim eventually fell into the seduction of money and power becoming a hitman for a big mafia don while ironically maintaining his deep Islam religiousity.

Jamal's unconditional love for Latika drives him to join into the gameshow. With the hope that Latika is watching. He maybe the only person who was there in that gameshow who was not after the money. He grew up from nothing and thus, he's got nothing to lose. What he is afraid of most, is the possibility of never finding Latika again. In the final throes of the movie, Salim, the ever-protective brother, gave Latika her freedom at the expense of his own life. Bathing is a tub-full of ill-gotten money, Salim open-fired on his boss and his people which cost him his mortality. Jamal was able to answer the final question, became an underdog millionaire and fulfilled his destiny of being with Latika.

Watching the movie, you cannot help but feel secured and contented with what we have in our lives. The poor people of India are way more pitiful than the poor here in the Philippines. A slum area as far and wide as the eye can see is a screaming irony of how people are supposed to have been born equal. The movie, at the end of the day, gives hope to all of us. We choose our own destiny, as the cliche goes. Let us not forget that we all have chances to be great and significant. What matters is the choice that we make. Hopefully, my friends, we will get a shot at greatness. And when that time comes, I promise you, mine will never be less than grand. :-)

Black Velvet

2009-03-03T17:29:00.003+08:00

2 Saturdays ago, I mentioned that I did go to a seminar by PARM. During the after hours, I met Dame^ who was also undergoing a training seminar by TESDA for her job at her school. Anyway, I met her friend (I forgot the name), a chubby guy with a musculine voice who speaks gay lingo (which I find a bit too much and too creepy to take). I think he's a closet queen for all I care. Anyway, he brought us to a place called Black Velvet. It is a comedy bar located in the heart of Bacolod's nigthlife district of which I don't know the name.
It was my first time to go to a comedy bar. The entrance was a decent 45 pesos per person and when we entered, the place was already swarmed with customers. We were just lucky for as we entered, a group of people were leaving and we had an empty table for the three of us. The comedy team was made up of 5 comedians: 3 crossdressing fags, a woman (who allegedly is the aunt of Sheryn Regis who trained her in singing) and a dwarf woman (who is perhaps the shortes unano^ I have ever seen in my entire life).
The comedy group delivered a lot of jokes and stints that made me roll of my chair with bellyaching laughter. The dwarf, Jenny, was very witty and cracks a lot of very good jokes. Aya, the tall fag with a great fasetto singing voice, and the woman ( I forgot here name) sang very well. In fact, the alleged-Sheryn-Regis-aunt is one of those singers who can hit long and high notes without seeming to strain. I mean I don't see the veins of her throat engorging as she belted out the high notes. Their routine was basically made up of the stereotypical videoke and stand up spiel. Dame enjoyed the show so much she wanted to come back the next night.
And so we did. During the second night, of course they had to repeat some of their routine and some of the lines that they did from the night before. However, for what it's worth Jenny, the dwarf, made my night with her impromptu call-center spiel with a customer ( who was well-applauded for being such a good sport). However, when Mariposa ( an ugly fag with a Pokwang-face who makes funny facial distortions) was on stage, a table of customers booed him. Those wretched kids ( teenagers) sort-of retorted back cause they were singled out by the comedian when they entered. "Oh mga bata, ari kamo d? Kabalo mga ginhikanan nyo nga gakadto kamo d?". The audience roared in laughter, much to the ire of the kids. So when Mariposa got back on the stage, they booed him and lambasted his lines. I think it's insulting enough not to be laughed at when you are a comedian. It's worse if you're booed if you're a performer. The hecklers went on and on with their booing until even the comedians themselves almost lost their composure for the arrogant behaviour of those sick bastards.
After a brief picture taking with Jenny, we left the place satisfied but with a grain of salt. I felt sorry for Mariposa but I think it's admirable how he maintained his composure throughout the heckling. I also noticed a deep, deep sadness embedded in the eyes of the comedians. Their faces were bright with laughter but their eyes tell a different story. These performers may not be considered heroes of the new day. But hell, we are all like them. Everyday we tread on, putting on a show to get people to like us, to love us. We brave on the insults people who don't like us and we go on living. We do it repeatedly, on a daily basis. We put on a good show. And in show business, no matter what happens, the show must go on. The show must go on.

Seminar

2009-02-25T12:05:00.003+08:00

Last week was hellweek for all of us. We were required to join in a sing-and-dance fundraising concert that featured faculty, administration, maintenance and staff at San Pablo. So it means wasting a lot of energy on after class practices that may last as late as 10 or something in the evening. Everynight for more than a month. Of course, I only joined in the group chorale and not in any vocal solo or group dance. That means I got to go home earlier than almost everyone their including my PT colleagues. Fast forward to the presentation. Errr... it was successful. Errr... nothing much to say about it really. Except, I get some LSS from the songs we sang, particularly St Francis Prayer. Anyway, I'm going to write about some things I've learned from the seminar I attended last Saturday at L'Fisher Bacolod. We were sponsored by Doc G as this was a seminar by the Philippine Academy of Rehabilitation Medicine (PARM).

Here are new things I've learned:

The following things (in direct order) are protective against Parkinson's Disease: caffeine, green tea, smoking and aspirin/NSAIDS ----- mroe reasons to drink coffee and smoke
The following events may be indicative of PD in the early stages: constipation, sleep disturbances, swallowing difficulties; we also have to take note of olfactory disturbances as it may present even before the motor symptoms arise ( such as bradykinesia, nystagmus, postural instability) ; drooling is also a manifestation of bradykinesia
2 major subtypes of PD have been identified:

Tremor dominant type- this is more common in younger patients; possible mental status impariment
Gait difficulty/ postural instability dominant type

4. Poor response to Levodopa treatment may suggest other types of clinical conditions

5. PD is not a purely motor disease; there are underlying sensory and cognitive deficits as well

6. Speech and Gait disturbances cannot be cured by medicine; Rehab is still important in these field of PD treatment

7. Punding- is a term used for obessessive-compulsive traits in PD; fascination, repetitive manipulation of technical equipment, continual examining and handlling of common objects

8. After five years of L-dopa tx- 50% of patients will develop motor fluctuations

9. Polio foot is mostly inverted; the good foot is everted (for wider base of support)

10. Most severe pain in post polio syndrome: knees, legs, wrists; pain is caused by overfatigue or overexertion

11. Foot deformity-most common deformity in polio (not genu recurvatum)

12. Magnets are effective in tx of pain et fatigue; Non-swimming exercises are indicated ( cold intolerance)

13. One sign of migraine is a common fear to stay in a dark room ( claustrophobia); migraine is a throbbing headache accompanied with nausea et vomitting with a pain scale of at least 6; lower than 6 p/s is not a migraine

14. Headache alarms:

sudden onset - may indicate a stroke
associated fever- may indicate meningitis or other infectins
worst headache ever- subarachnoid bleed/ anuerysm
late onset new headache (for old people)- stroke
headache associated with mental status changes - tumor/stroke
increasingly progressive headache- stroke
focal neurologic signs - tumor/stroke
assoc. with exertion, valsalva, after sex- aneurysm

15. All anti-hypertensive drugs cause impotence particularly beta-blockers

16. a BP of 160/100 requires combination therapy ( 2 drugs or more)

17. Hypertensive crisis- has a diastole of 120 or 130; Hypertensive emergency - very high BP secondary/ leading to end organ damage requiring immediate BP lowering; Hypertensive urgency- no end-organ damage; correct BP within 24-48 hours

18. If your child is obese by age 14, 80-100% obese for life

19. Signs of arterial occlusion/ disease: pallor, pulselessness, parestheisa, paralysis, polar sensation

20. Venous ulcers of the foot=normal pulses; found usually in peri-malleolar area; arterial ulcers=abnormal/absent pulses, distal digits first affected

I hope you learned something from here. Till I write again. Baboooh

The Presentation

2009-02-05T22:50:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a total victory for me! I slept very late (2:30 am) the night before just to finished the f*****g PowerPoint class presentation I had to do for my class observation. (Remember that time I kept on complaining that the school was teaching us how to be teachers through the use of technology? Internet bullstuff and the like?). Now is the crunchtime for that. I wasn't so sure they were gonna push for a real teaching demo using all those whatevers they meant to tell us. But now, it's here. I have to deal with it.

I have to choose a topic to discuss and the subject matter should be delivered in the technology-based prescription that Dr. H wanted. It was a toss between Neuroanatomy ( The Cranial Nerves and the Autonomic Nervous System) and Orthotics and Prosthetics ( Orthotic Prescription for Special Conditions). I was like ano man? ano nami d man? daw kabudlay gd haw?ah ndi ah daw ok man lng ni ah.pero din di man? tsk tsk. Then after much internal deliberation, I made my choice. The topic that I will discuss is...... ( music)..........................

PAULTHENICS 402! The Christian Filipino Family. Bwahaha teh man!

Fast forward yesterday afternoon. After I finished my pre-internship CI at Saviour Hospital, I rushed home for lunch, another shower, and to shave my beard for my presentation. I f-----g cut my chin ( 2 bloody cuts) while shaving as I seldom shave so I have no engram formation as to the prevention of this event. I put on a light blue striped polo shirt and cream pants and readied myself for the observation.

Finally, it was my turn and I ushered my advisory class inside the computer lab. Dr H then asked for my topic outline. Topic outline? What the hell is that? My mind was racing. And I mentally screamed OH SHIT! Now, I remember. Yah, we were indeed supposed to give a topic outline so she will know the flow of the lecture. I didn't have it but I managed a weak smile and said " err, doc, uhm, topic outline? hehe. do we need to have one? hehe...err, i didn't know kac eh.. hehe.. but, uhm, i promise to make one for you later..hehe" Must've sounded so dumb and stupid there but that is really all there is to say.

I started the class right away. Flashing my grand PowerPoint Presentation for my advisory class. Ha! Ginpulawan ko ubra ni! THIS IS PERFECT! SO ELITE IS SHOULD PUT A COPYRIGHT AFTER I PRESENT THIS PERFECT POWERPOINT! And there I raged, enthusiastically discussing the Christian Filipino Family, slide after slide. I talked about religion and the importance of it to our family. I talked of family worship and going to mass together. I talked about the faith, love, and sacrifice for our family. Damn it! I was so righteous right then and there I could've have been ordained a priest had the Pope witnessed my charisma. Each mouseclick brought on a new slide with color, pictures and words to captivate the class. Masterful presentation. Moving words. I was a cavalier with my perfect powerpoint crap as my lance and my passionate voice as my armor. I reeked in benevolent condescension right from the beginning. And the class was captivated! ( Clap! Clap! Clap!)

Then it was over. Whew! The class dragged their sorry asses out of the room as Dr H called me to discuss my score. I was expecting a high grade based on that PP presentation. Of course, who would be dumb enough not to see my talent in PP presentation! That was the bomb! That was awesome! PERFECT POWERPOINT!...................................

Do you really want to know what happened next? Halos tanan to sa PowerPoint ko sala! BWAHAHAH! Na muna ke absent permi sa ICT training. My presentation it turned out was flooded with errors. Wrong font, wrong font size, wrong colors, wrong background, wrong stuff tanan hahaha. Dr H told me hindi ka ba nakinig. And I answered back "eh, hehe, kasi doc uhm, i thought it would be, erm, okay to be spontaneous, uhm, hehe, pero maganda naman yung kulay d ba? hehe"
Damn, pare, ang tanga ng sagot! Bwahaha...

Fortunately though she made me pass. WOHOO!!! 88% grade ko. Not bad for a technology illiterate person like me. WEEEEEE!!! Oh xa xa matulog nako me clase pako bwas. happy reading weeeee!

Milagroso!

2009-01-29T10:17:00.004+08:00

Omg! I witnessed a miracle today. My long dead and cadaveric computer just sparked back into life. I'm a self-confessed technological moron who doesn't know how to fix anything digital, electronic and mechanical thereby degrading myself to the ranks of the lower mammals. Approximately 2 weeks ago, my PC decided to quit on me. How dare it! Without any resignation letter or formal notification, this stupid mechanical contraption found it hilarious to just die out on me. I don't f*****g know what the hell was its problem. The monitor just goes to sleep everytime I turned the PC on. I tried to reattach the wires and and try to fix stuff ( of course I don't know what to fix in this event) but to no avail. Just this morning, I turned to computer on just to check if it will change its mind and get back to work. Still the same effect. I went to my room to watch TV and after awhile I came back out to find that it was back on its feet again. It just turned on.

What the hell is this? Miracle? Or this stupid PC of mine decided to come to work after finding out that the global financial crisis would make it difficult for it to look for a new job elsewhere? Remain my slave, PC! BWAHAHAHA

(Baw linteks ginakulbaan ko i turn off ang comp ke bac ndi nmn ni mgandar bla karun aw.. huhu...galeng ma ubra pako ya...huhuhu)

Feng Feng Cho!

2009-01-19T16:31:00.003+08:00

I have so many things to write about but I'm cursed with a damn stupid PC at home. I can only write my blog in school, which for the past week I hadn't frequented coz I have few classes this midterm. Well, anyway, I will try to write short strips to say a few things on my mind. Here is one of them:

Charice will be singing in Obama's inauguration tomorrow, right? I have to admit that I was blown away by this lady's vocal prowess the first time I saw and heard her sing on TV. However, I do believe that she is becoming dangerously too overexposed. She will be singing a true-blooded American song for the inauguration? What the hell is this? Although I'm honored for her being Filipino, I think she doesn't even have the adoptive right to sing that song. And although she may have that very powerful and commanding voice comparable only to the top divas in entertainment namely Mariah, Whitney, Celine and Barbra, I think her overexposure will ultimately lead to an early demise in her career. Why is this so?

First of all, we had to admit that Charice is not lovely to look at. It is true. Charice is not blessed with beauty. She makes up for this, though, through her likeability factor, which is necessary if you want to be a star. I am worried, however, that her not-so-good looks will get the better of the two. In fact, I believe that until recently people only want to hear her belt out the high notes and they don't really listen much to the rest of the song. I don't find any kind of uniqueness in her voice if she is just singing the so-so simple melody which may explain why her song, It Can Only Get Better, didn't do so well even here in the country.

Secondly, Charice is not a pop-class singer. She is more of a balladeer type. Some might argue that she can make up for it with her great voice. However, we have to realize that hitting the high notes isn't that "cool" anymore. Most memorable ballads were sung in the 70s-90s. Therefore, it isn't cool for a 15-yr-old to sing them ALL the time. Old people who sing old songs and hitting the high notes is good but heck a 15-year-old? Voice alone will not make up for it, too. Martin Nievera has a good voice and he still continues to make albums almost every year. Question is: who buys them? eeerrrr...

On the lighter side, Charice, who wisely dropped here family name Pempengco (ka pangsut), was able to wow both Oprah and Ellen which is a major boost to any one's popularity. And David Foster, that singer songwriter who few people know about (but who I knew even before Charice came out coz I like his music), is on Charice's side which is another plus for her.

At the end of the day, she has to make the best of it while it lasts. I honestly hope it lasts. She is one great voice so to say, although not a pretty one.

Waste of Time!

2009-01-09T14:51:00.003+08:00

I'm totally wasting my time now. I am obliged to attend this seminar-training crap that is supposed to teach us to become teachers. Duh! Something like using technology to improve teaching efficacy. Powerpoint thing and internet sourcing. Watdapak! Waste of time!

First of all, I am a very low-tech person. Kung sa cheese curls pa tanan kamo Pringles na, ako ya nasa PeeWee stage pa lang! I don't need powerpoint to teach. I feel comfortable mgwakal-wakal kag mgsulat chalk sa blackboard! Anhon mo kung perfect ang imo powerpoint kung wala man may matun-an ang studyante sa imo? aber aber....

Second, this takes up a lot of my precious time. I should have spent this time drinking beer and sleeping till kingdom come.

Watdapak! Help me! Help me! Avah first time ko nag Ilong-lish sa blog ha... whahah

The Face

2009-01-08T11:56:00.002+08:00

I went to Dame's house to celebrate the New Year. I brought a book along with me on my way there as I have already started reading it. The title of the book is The Face by Dean Koontz.

I became a big fan of Dean Koontz right after reading Intensity which is probably one of the handful of books I refused to put down eventhough it was way past bedtime. For those who don't know Dean Koontz, he is a master thriller writer at par with Stephen King. Yes, that famous Stephen King. The main difference is that most of Stephen King's novels are of epic catastrophes where the events occur for weeks, months or years. Stephen King is (was) a visionary of horrific and armageddonian (if there is such a word) masterpieces in which, unfortunately, Hollywood was able to catch up to. In any event, people would rather see War of the Worlds or I am Legend than read Stephen King books having the same theme. Dean Koontz, on the other hand, writes about serial killers and supernatural events with only a few main characters participating in his suspense thrillers. And the events just take place in a few days or a week.

The book that I read, The Face (2004), was a great read. Not exceptional but great. The story revolves around an ex-cop-turned bodyguard to the most dazzling Hollywood star known as the Face. The bodygaurd has to protect the Face's son who is a target of a deranged and dangerous anarchist plotting to kidnap him. Just right before Christmas, the famous mansion of the Face is empty save for a few security personnel, the bodyguard Ethan and the Face's son, Fric. The anarchist sets out a most daring plan to penetrate the impenetrable security features of the mansion and kidnap the son.

Overall, the novel is fast-paced with a dash of comedy to lighten up the mood. The description of how sick the anarchist was perfectly painted and his evil oozes out of the pages. My only concern was that there were a few subplots that were not relevant to the story. And before the twists start to unfold another subplot of pure irrelevance is added up murkying the story.

The ending was fantastic. It had a subtle suggestion that human ideation of beauty, such as their adoration for the Face, would pale to the highest degree if you see the Face of the divine. Overall the book didn't left me wanting. It left me satisfied and high with the Christmas spirit.

Nakapauli na si Toto Dyud!

2009-01-07T15:07:00.003+08:00

I'm sorry for the fans I disappointed these past few weeks. I went on a holiday, all expense paid trip, in Varzditumerchgotiv, Iceland. I wasn't able to write much since then. But now that I'm back, I can finally write again. Hmmm, I saved my pictures during the trip and I will upload it as soon as my computer is fixed.

Varzditumerchgotiv is a city 150 miles south of Reykjavik, the capital of Iceland. Together with other members of WAGW (Warriors Against Global Warming), we spent a week frolicking in the snow and I even learned how to ski. I loved their traditional food called skyr, although I couldn't quite distinguish what kind of meat it is. It wasn't long however before I started missing Pilipinas.

Now that I'm back I can start writing again.

Happy New Year you fools!

Yep, There's Such a Thing as Free Lunch

2008-12-17T13:03:00.004+08:00

Today marks the second straight day of kan-anay! Yesterday's lunch was catered through the generosity of Doc G. We had some special sinigang and the rest I didn't know what they were called. Ha-ha. But the best part was the dessert. He brought us a special blueberry cheesecake from Calea. Damn! I don't have a sweet tooth in me but that cake gave my mouth an orgasm!
Today, Ms AJ paid for our lunch at Jo's Chicken Inato. Well Jo's Chicken Inato is the restaurant equivalent of Jolina Magdangal. That has-been of a star. Jo's used to be the best chicken house in Iloilo. Unfortunately, they didn't keep their standards up. So now, as I was saying, it is like Jolina. Still there but hardly felt. Go Mang Inasal!
Tomorrow, we will be having lunch at Mrs. Gayoles house (Doc G's sister-in-law). She serves the best KBL (kadios, baboy, langka) in the whole wide worlddddddddd. Promise! The food tastes so good, you will even forget your own name. I've eaten there once and only then did I know that KBL and chorizo go together verywell. How I wish you would be able to share the palatable servings I am enjoying these days. Happy eating!
P.S. Ngaa sa tanan nga has-beens si Jolina gid b? hahaha.. kaluoy man.. adding insult to injury..tsktsk

Oh Kresmas tre, Oh Kresmas tre

2008-12-15T23:08:00.007+08:00

I went shopping for my SP's gift today (Si Nang Belinda hehe) [ well wala man gablog c nang bel teh she won't know that she's my SP]. I already know that I am a weird gift-giver. I tend to give gifts that people won't ever use in their entire lives. I remember perfectly that along the course of the many SP-SP's that I have participated in, I have already given: 1.) a bundle of barbecue sticks 2.) a set of knives 3.)a floral apron (for a guy) 4.) a can of liver spread 5.) 2 boxes of paper clips 6.) a set of staplers (6 pieces in a set) 7.) a flowerpot and many more. Some would say they would be damn unlucky if I was the one who picked out their names, friends and former classmates alike. Unfortunately, my impulses get the hold of me. When I go shopping for gifts, I want gifts that won't be forgotten at all. Well, if you received a flowerpot for Christmas, how would you forget the feeling of disappointment and anger over that person who gave you that? BWAHAHA!
Well, today was going to be different. The minimum price of the gift was not less than 300 (down from a previous 500!). So there I went! I went gift-hunting for Nang Bel. I first went through Ace Hardware, where I first bought my new set of kitchen knives for my victim, errrr, SP. Ahem. Unfortunately(or otherwise), they aren't selling knives there anymore and I thought I don't think Nang Bel would particularly enjoy receiving them and would probably give me a hard time in the office. But, damn it, I saw the perfect gift for her there. A kitchen sink! I actually checked the price of the kitchen sink. I was heartbroken; it costs 14,000. So I dropped my kitchen sink gift and looked for something cheaper.
I went to SM Delgado looking for a nice heater that won't really cost a lot. But all they had there were expensive ones. Until I set my eyes on that beautiful electronic egg-beater. Checked the price and it costs more than a thousand. Tsk Tsk.
Finally chose to look around in Unitop for something classy that wasn't that expensive. Unitop is the place to be when you want to die of kidney failure due to melamine intoxication. It is also the place to be when you want to experience lead poisoning. It is also the place to be when you want to have your house burnt down due to defective appliances that did not undergo quality control. The place is way cheaper than most, but almost all of their products come from China, yes, that China!
I transformed into a Shrek version of Alice in Wonderland as I explored the mystery that is Unitop. And I found many interesting objects that I almost bought for Nang Bel: 1.) a lamp shade that is shaped like a pair of women's breasts, 2.) a teacup set that has a written warning screaming: I careful. Breaking glass hold. , 3.) an ironing board (imagine getting a kabayo for Xmas!), 4.) a toothpaste that could be used in treating pimples and dandruff, 5.) a griller that has no grill, 6.) a set of knives (bwahaha)
After searching for awhile, I finally chose a conventional gift for my SP and settled on a set of linen (1 bedsheet, 1 blanket, 2 pillow cases) worth 340 pesos. I also threw in 2 sets of clothespin worth 50 pesos. There, there. I may not be the best Christmas shopper in the world. But, oh look at that boy. He's finally grown up! ..... a bit at least :-)

May Morto!!!

2008-12-14T21:07:00.002+08:00

I woke up with a slight hangover from Friday's drinking session and I rushed to school. We gathered as a college to have a Christmas party with our adopted barangay somewhere in the armpits of Oton. After a humid event that lasted for about 4 hours, we took a short trip from Oton to Shamrock beach resort where we were to spend the College of PT Xmas party. The timing of the party was totally absurd as we are having our prelims exam starting Tuesday. Many of the students therefore weren't able to stay and have fun because they still have the prelim exams at the back of their minds.
Anyway, almost everyone left after the Xmas party was over. Only a handful, including myself, stayed at the resort for an overnight retreat. After dinner, we sang a few songs at the karaoke bar and went drinking till we get wasted. We played a drinking game called Jackass and damn that game was soooo fun I never had as much fun in a drinking game as when I played the Beergame for the first time. Well anyway, let's fast forward.
It was already about 3 am when most people retired for the night. Unfortunately, I wasn't drunk yet. I was still in desperate need of booze to satisfy my cravings (Liveraide commercial playing in the background). So I managed to drag 3 students who were also left dissatisfied to go out of the resort and search for more booze. First we went in the direction going back to Oton and after walking for maybe more than 30 minutes we decided that everyone is still asleep and that we ain't gonna find any booze in that area. So we agreed to walk back to the resort. Along the way, the students and I were talking bout the "3 am mystery", with the argument that many uncanny experiences happen at this doom hour. Then out of the blue, I suggested we try to pretend we are ghosts and scare motorists. Ha-ha-ha.
There were four of us, I and another guy then 2 girls. One of the girls has a long white shawl over her shoulders. We timed our entrance. She was going to be the leader, with her shawl over her head and not on her shoulders. We are going to be a procession of ghosts with our arms forward as if we were zombies. At 3:30 in the morning, that would be a disturbing sight to motorists. Lolz.
Finally, a pair of headlights shown ahead of us and we readied ourselves. As it approached us, we moved really slowly and zombie-like util it drove past us. We thought he didn't see us. We thought we failed to scare the driver. But hey a few meters from where we were at the opposite side of the street, he slowed down until he came to a full stop. We continued walking like zombies for awhile until we heard the car move again. I assume the driver had hair rising over his nape thinking he saw something supernatural. Ha-ha-ha. He stopped the car to recheck if his eyes were deceiving him of maybe he woken up his passenger or what. I just sure we sacred the wits out of him. Ha-ha-ha. God, this must be the best prank I've pulled so far in recent years. Woot Woot!

KOOOOOREEEEAAAAANNNNOOOO!

2008-12-12T14:01:00.003+08:00

Yesterday, I met up with former officemates from the Korean school I used to teach in (Ken's Sparta Tutorial Center that's beside Jollibee U.P.). They all looked somber and angry at the same time. They revealed to me that when they went to work that morning, that fool of a Filipino manager, NETCHER JERMIA, told them to pack up and go home. The school was officially closing due to "bankruptcy". What?! How can the largest Korean school in Iloilo just fall into bankruptcy when students continue to enrol there and they are still hiring new tutors? The Korean owner of the school with his cohorts and that included the new makapili, NETCHER JERMIA, deliberately absconded from paying the tutors their due. They announced a school holiday to give time to Ken, the koring owner, to flee back to Korea. Fortunately, the tutors were able to freeze the passport of his brother, Ian, at the Bureau of Immigration, which means he is still stuck here somewhere in the pits of the Philippines. It is going to be a cold and penniless Christmas for all of them especially the tutors whose livelihood is teaching Koreans.
Two things are certain to date: 1.) Koreans are not as rich as they like to imprint on us Filipinos and 2.) Some Filipinos are still apt on selling their own countrymen for their own personal gains. Why am I not surprised.

Maestro ka na! mabuhay!

2008-12-10T20:45:00.004+08:00

Sigh! I'm beat. I'm soooo tired today I wish I was still the bum I used to be. Woke up with a splitting hangover, tried very hard to pull myself out of bed and into the shower. Had to rush to the office and type my prelim exams. God! and I freakin didn't know today was the deadline for that.
I always thought teaching came naturally and easily for me. Which is why it was a dream come true when I was invited to teach in behalf of Ms. Jo who was already leaving for the US 2 months ago. I didn't know yet that life as a teacher would never be a bed of roses. And even though I try so hard to always be objective by distancing myself from the drama that is college, I find myself caught up in its web and at the end of day, stressing over issues and students from whom I promised myself not to be affected by. I had to stay up late studying and preparing for the next day's class when, in fact, I never put so much effort in college. In college, my strategy was simply to stay afloat in class, not really learn about anything. Ultimately, since I figured I couldn't do it on my own, I looked for a bestfriend (Zaw, wink wink) and through our harmonious and symbiotic relationship I managed to pass and graduate.
Unfortunately, now it's all different. I am currently relearning things I should have already learnt in college. I am reding books I've never heard of before. Some things my brain automatically rejected before are starting to sink in to my conciousness and hopefully I am delivering it too to my kids, who for now I assume, are just trying to stay afloat just like me.
Zaw thought it ironic to find me studying. She told me you never studied before for your own grades and now you are studying for the grades of other people. Well said. But I have no choice. This is my dream. Albeit a shallow one, at least I'm living it. Kudos to myself. And to all those people living their own simple and shallow dreams.

Utok Kasag

2008-12-08T10:57:00.004+08:00

One of the worst conceivable flaws in Filipino culture is our crab mentality. We can't help it. We seldom are proud of people around us who succeed. If any, we are downright jealous and bitter when someone else succeeds. And, of course, as our society dictates, we are immorally obliged to backbite, backstab, and tell stories of ill-content, contrived or not, just so to pull that person back down. Ah, the Filipino in us all! :) What's more: we tend to dwell in the past when people get ahead of us. Something like: so what if he's rich and successful now? he used to be a wallflower way back in high school. Or something like: So what if she's doing great in the U.S. now? she lost to me in that beauty pageant. It's either this is a jock's, queen bee's, or the "in-crowd"'s mentality or maybe, just maybe, we are bitter at not being considered successful in the manner that society defines.
They say that success is subjective. But for us Pinoys, that is not the case. Success, to us, equates with money, cars, and a nice big house or two. Which is why we cringe at the thought of us working as salesladies, waiters or janitors. For by doing these errrrr lowly, albeit noble jobs(errr i really had to put this in ^.^), we are afraid that we wil be branded as a failure.
Let me go back to that crab mentality thing. This is something that affects not only those who want to pull people up there back down where they think they should be. Pinoys who succeed also have their noses up to the sky. They don't even want to remember where they came from. For example, Pinoy A and Pinoy B are really good friends. Both of them grew up in the same neighborhood, eating in the same small-town restaurant and went to the same school. Pinoy A got rich and famous; Pinoy B remained a so-so factory worker. Tell me, what are the chances that Pinoy A will invite Pinoy B to eat in that same old small-town diner they used to dine in? What are the chances that Pinoy A will want to sit in their old tambayan and talk about the old days? I can't answer that for you. What I know is we have a culture deeply ingrained in each of us that probably won't be fixed in a loooong time. So allow me to rant about people I know who are now very successful: Hoy Janyn!!!!!!!!! Hoy Elna!!!!!!! Hoy Bes!!!!!! (pati wla pa na c zaw naging successful nahisa lng ko ya ke gatampisaw xa sa snow!).... :)

Lupain ng Ginto't Bulaklak

2008-12-05T15:50:00.004+08:00

A foreigner once said: the problem with you Filipinos is that you don't love your country enough. What's in a country anyway? What's in being a Filipino? If you rave about culture, we lost our culture to the Spanish and the Americans a long time ago. We talk about our beautiful islands; and yet we leave it to be ravished by foreigners. We talk about our food and yet we can't even delineate which one is uniquely ours. To sum it all up: everything about our glorious past has faded into a distant memory that few people would relish and be proud of. We have become like has-been moviestars that are only remembered when something bad happens. The Philippines is only mentioned on TV when the topic is about volcanic eruption (Mt Pinatubo), Charisse Pempengco, and mail-to-order brides. Our women are branded as sex-kittens who are easy to get and easily lured by dollar-bearing old fat and dirty men. I don't feel sorry for them. I feel sorry for myself. For when I first read the Noli Me Tangere, I felt a sense of anger and longing for justice about incidents that happened centuries ago. When I joined the Edsa II, I felt a sense of jubilation when Erap was thrown out of the Palace. And at that time, a flicker of hope lit up in my chest: Change....

... did not come. It wasn't meant to come. It will never come. That's why I feel sorry for myself. I feel numb and apathetic when people talk about my country. As with all relationships, love is not enough. And when that statement starts to sink into those souls who actually care: "The problem with you Filipinos is that you don't love your country enough", I will tell that man to shove it up. The only problem with us Filipinos is us Filipinos. And that makes me sorry for myself. You probably should feel sorry for yourself, too.

I'm Back! Watch Out World!

2008-12-05T11:55:00.002+08:00

Yep I'm soooooo back. After a month-long vacation in Greece and Sicily, I'm finally back. Since I'm kinda busy these days, I probably won't write a lot of long blogs from hereon. Furthermore, I still have to reach out to a lot more readers to get my spirits up. Damn, my credits cards are burning after my vacation. Good thing is that I have a wonderful tan right now and I brought a lot of memorabilia. One of these days I'd fill up these pages so please keep posted.

Lovelots,

Dyud Botod
American Idol Batch 2011

Candidates for Assasination

2008-11-03T10:01:00.005+08:00

The Pinoy music industry has been raving about the massive advancement of music in modern times. Thanks to Kitchie Nadal who jumpstarted the already dying Pinoy alternative rock scene with her famous song Wag na Wag Mong Sasabihin, many other alternative bands also came into the spotlight. Alongside the rebirth of Pinoy alternative rock scene, acoustic music by Paolo Santos and the other has-beens and never-wases also helped in reviving the dying music industry. However, many crappy musicians, artists and trying-hard-to-be-rockstars also sprouted like toadstools from dog piss. Let's all wish they get struck by lightning, drown in their soups, electrocuted while charging their celphones (using China-made chargers bought from Unitop) or they lose conciousness and wake up in the kingsize bed of Michael Jackson:

1.) Cueshe
-talk about crap to the highest degree. Everything about them is fake. And who the hell is that second frontman who tries to play cutesy to attract women and gay audiences? Yeah like the hell that's so rockstar to me. And remember that song which resembles Silverchair's "The Greatest View"? That is so damn right sacriligeous for these creeps dressing up as rockstars. I suggest we execute them by burying them up to the neck and putting honey in their head and face while hungry fire ants rush in to taste their juicy eyeballs. Let's see if you can still do that beautiful eyes things fools.

2.) Callalily
-another band whose talent measures up to Mura's dicksize. They sound so horrible and all they have to show is a frontman who has the looks but has the talent of a pig in a swimming contest. I recommend they die by cutting their necks using a breadknife and let them bleed to death.

3.) Alessandra de Rossi
-I think that she is a wonderful actress and fashionista but hell I saw her music video and I vomitted all that I had for lunch. She sang Sailing by Christopher Cross. She not only murdered the song but she has this ghastly video with her in a swimming pool lip-synching the song and bubbles spew out from her nose and mouth that could disgust even a sewr cleaner. I suggest she is executed by letting her sail alone in the Bermuda Triangle to be sucked up by aliens allegedly preying on the area.

4.) Dennis Trillo
-being popular onscreen doesn't mean you are a good actor (check out that horror movie of forgettable nature he did with Paolo Contis and Iya Villana [?]). It probably means you are as lousy a singer as eating ibus without sugar. By singing All Out of Love by Air Supply, he certainly proved that superstardom could not guarantee talent and that fools are still fools even if they wore kingly robes. I suggest he is killed by tying him to a bed with his entire body completely protected except for his thing, spread cornchips all over and then release a horde of hungry sewer rats into the room.

5.) Rachel Ann Go
-the nerve of this fart to make a rock album! She pratically mutated wonderful rock songs like Honestly by Harem Scarem into pieces of mouse droppings. By pretending to be a rockstar, she ironically turned rocksongs into pop songs. I think the only people to appreciate her "rock album" are those people whose breeding compares to that of street dogs and whose musical taste equates to the death-blind-and-mute. She should die by forcing her to swallow rocks until her gut explodes like a star. There you go, you achieve your dream. You're a rockstart now you biatch.

6.) Christian Bautista
-as soft as a flower, this crooner needs to have the true nature of his sexuality constantly re-examined. He indulges those Pinoy's whose craving for melodrama is insatiable by singing love songs that are as cheesy as Piolo Pascual movies. Oh my god! The pain in my ears. I suggest he dies by cutting off his nipples and pouring pinakurat on it until he expires in pain.

7.)Sam Milby
-this wanna-be rockstar ought to be castrated! Imagine him singing Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls and Wherever You Will Go by The Calling and trying to sound so husky as to project a rockstar appeal! Oh come on dickhead. You are like Nick Carter who tried to transform into a rockstar ust by sounding husky. My god can't you even have some sort of originality? He should die by being tied to a poster bed with a sex-hungry Boy Abunda and closet queen extraordinaire Piolo Pascual ravaging his body. Ewww..

8.)Toni Gonzaga
-okay to be fair to her, she is an OK host; but damn it as a singe she sucks bigtime! She has a voice that sounds so gay (like Ruffa Guttierez) when she sings and yet she really feels that singing is her "calling". Kasarang? And she even tries to bellow out high notes that probably makes her throat do sommersaults becuase it can NEVER reach that high. I suggest she is killed by forcing her to swallow the microphone she so willingly proclaims as her scepter.

9.)Billy Crawford
-this has-been/never-was still continues to croon in a ghastly RnB fashion pretending to still be the international star that he almost was. His receding hairline is testament to his delusions that he is still somebody. He should die by being stripped naked and pelted with pellet guns until he extinguishes from mini-contusions all over his body.

10)Kris Aquino
-no words can express my distaste for this beyotch! She continues to release music albums without singing anything! Argh! I can't express myself anymore! Just kill her please. Whatever method you use it's okay. Just kill her!

My 15 Best Music Videos of All Time

2008-10-29T15:02:00.006+08:00

I've been an avid music fan for as long as I can remember. I basically listen to almost all genres of music (save for classical music which I think sucks and would also give you a clear background as to my breeding bwahaha [kiss my smelly ass Chopin and Beethoven!]). It makes no difference to me if the music was made in the 1940's or in the 2000's. If the music is good I'd probably have it in my MP3 player. Anyway, here are my chosen videos. I choose these videos either because they tell beautiful stories, send wonderful messages or were made with such elegant simplicity you simply can't take your eyes off them. Here they are:

15.) Mariah Carey- Make It Through the Rain
The video is a typical scene from everyday Pinoy telenovelas that wallow in melodrama. It features the story of a young couple fighting for their forbidden interracial love. By the end of the video, Mariah Carey is up on stage performing and the couple, both now old and gray, grasp each other's hand softly giving justice to the cliche that love conquers all.

14.) Sandwich- Betamax
A music video that features outdoor Pinoy children's games. The simplicity of the video, with the band playing in a staircase seemingly located in a sidewalk, and the innocence of the children playing the games makes this video unforgettable for me. Furthermore, the message of the song reflects a modern band's respect for the bands who ruled before.

13.) Michael Jackson- Do You Remember the Time?
The King of Pop plays a magician in an Egyptian King's (played by Eddie Murphy) royal palace who seduces the Queen, unwittingly, in front of the King with his magic. This irks the King alot and orders the capture of magician. When cornered, the magician casts a spell and transforms into a pile of sand. Oh yeah, the stories that only Jacko videos can tell!

12.) REM- Everybody Hurts
This anti-suicide song is so melancholic and monotonous it almost makes you want to kill yourself ironically. And ironically, I also love this song. Anyway, the video features a regular traffic situation in a highway until people start to look up into the skies as if watching something. At the end, a news broadcast is played expressing confusion upon the presence of a traffic scene with all the people gone (read: all the cars are empty)

11.) Nirvana- MTV Unplugged: The Man Who Sold the World
The first band ever to do an MTV unplugged! This part of the pioneer MTV unplugged is perhaps their best and unforgettable performance. Kurt Cobain simply sat there and sang. Just that. Just perfect.

10.) No Doubt- Running
Gwen Stefani is undeniably the best female atlernative rock music icon that the mid-90s produced. This music video is among the swan songs of the No Doubt band before they ultimately ended their long and glorious career. It features pictures of the band from start to finish. It simply told the glorious and sometimes turbulent history of the band.

9.) Enigma- Return to Innocence
This is one video I will never forget. Enigma became quite popular in the early 90's with this music video released probably in 1994. Enigma's music is similar to chant-trance music that Enya and the Gregorian Monks re-introduced in the 2000s. Anyway, this music video is so unique because it features everything in reverse. Horses running in reverse, everything in reverse. The video stuck to my head since almost 15 years ago. Wonderful piece of art.

8.) Eminen- Stan
This video tells of an obssessed Eminem fan named Stan who has personal issues. The (has-been bwahahah) singer Dido plays the pregnant girlfriend of Stan and also sings the chorus of the song. The video ends with Stan kidnapping his own pregnant girlfriend and tries to record a hate tape to Eminem before the car he was driving got into an accident and killed himself.

7.) Duffy- Warwick Avenue
When I first looked at the video I couldn't take my eyes off it. Funny thing is nothing is special with the video. It is just Duffy sitting in the backseat of the car singing and crying at times. It is a breakup song or something but what I know is it transfixed me. No, Duffy is a so-so beauty not something worth staring at for a long time but the simplicity of the video is just amazing. You could try to check it out, you might like the song too. :)

6.) Soul Asylum- Runaway Train
Perhaps the one song that propelled Soul Asylum to superstardom is also a music video that is worth mentioning here. It features pictures of missing children. Whether they ran away, got kidnapped or whatever, we don't know. But the song and the video is addictive, especially if you are into melodrama. hehe

5.) Hale- The Day You Said Goodnight
What I particularly like about this video is that it isn;t so far-fetched from real life. It is set in boardinghouses or dormitories near universities. As expected, the houses are quite crowded and the scene has a convenience store typical of Pinoy local scenes. The story revolves around a college boy who is sort-of smitten to a young college girl who just broke up with her boyfriend. They became friends and just when the boy thought there is something going on between them, he sees the girl making up with her boyfriend leaving him alone in his dorm. A must-see video I think.

4.) Michael Jackson- Smooth Criminal
OMG another MJ video! Yes, there is no denying this video. It has a Mafia-concept with Jacko dancing around a bar full of gangsters. The dance is so fluid it is as if there are no cuts when the video was made. Of course the classic scene where MJ was walking along the pavement and everywhere his foot touches lights up is worth mentioning here. This was spoofed by Alien Ant Farm in the video of their cover (a pretty good one too) of Smooth Criminal.

3.) Hoobastank- The Reason
The start of the video would make you think like it's a romantic scene complementing the lyrics of the song. However, the twist comes in the middle of the video where instead of a romantic moment between two people, a clever and ingenious heist was taking place. Turns out, the accident was faked to distract the owner of the shop and to give time to the two people's cohorts to steal a precious red gem from the shop's owner. A totally awesome video! :)

2.) Eraserheads- Ang Huling El Bimbo
The founders of Pinoy alternative rock music comes with an unforgettable video about a puppy love that can't be borught back again. It's about a girl who dances very well and is secretly admired by four young boys. When they grew up, they went to look for the girl so they could dance again only to find out that the girl already died. How tragic!

1.) Michael Jackson- Thriller
Don't complain! Jacko was the first person to make music videos into short films and definitely this is the best of it! I suppose you already saw this video so there is no need for me to describe it. Well, if you still haven;t seen it then most probably you are still in the Jurassic era and need to time travel to modern civilization. Well anyway, Halloween is coming up and I's pretty sure Myx and MTV will be playing this quite often.

Well guys, these are my favorite videos. If you have comments feel free to write them down. Oh btw, some of the titles may be wrong so please inform me as well. Happy reading.

That is so Pedestrian!

2008-10-20T21:23:00.005+08:00

Okay. Here I am. Allegedly forced by society to join the bloggers bandwagon. I'd probably not have a lot of time to create any more blogs any time soon since I don't have anything worthwhile to write anyway. But since I'm here, might as well waste your freaking time.

In Tupac Shakur's famous song Changes, the last line in the lyrics reads: Some things never change. Well the hell it's true. I've always dreamed of having my own personal driver to drive me around the city or anywhere else I wish to be. But damn lady luck doesn't seem so interested in me and so here I am still stuck to the hustle and bustle of commuting in public utility jeepneys on a daily basis.

Commuting to work or to play is never fun save for a precious few moments where some people would do something stupid to the amusement of the passengers. As a constant jeepney commuter, I've learned a lesson or two.

I am a person who is almost always late in everything. I tend to procrastinate in everything that I do. In fact, whenever I arrive on time for a meeting or something that's so important, the most likely reasons for me being there is that: a.)I thought the scheduled time was an hour earlier b.)by some miracle, there is no traffic and the jeepney sails smoothly along the road c.) I took a taxi because I thought I would have been late if I rode a jeepney.

In a way I am proud of being a commuter. I am a driving force in the local economy. By patronizing public transport, I give much needed support to our drivers and their union which know nothing but hold public demonstrations and transport strikes. Anyway, enough of this patronization and let's get down to business(cause my pride at being a commuter ends there errrrrr):

1.) It is very important to know your driver. Before riding a jeepney, examine his facial expression and his eagerness to drive. If he looks like he's about to fall asleep on the wheel then chances are he will drive as fast as a steamroller on a rainy day (read: soooo damn slow). If he has tattoos or facial peircings, most likely he'll drive like Lindsay Lohan on drugs. He will take you faster to your destination but if you're lucky enough he could take you faster to your grave too.

2.) Check out the driver's age. If he looks like he has one foot buried in the soil already, spare yourself the trouble of riding in his jeepney and wait for the next one. He will drive as fast as a funeral car on Sunday. The younger the driver is, the better. But if you encounter a young driver who drives like an old man, well save yourself some money by not paying him. His job is to take you to your destination in a reasonable time. And if you hear a driver scream "If you are such in a hurry, go take a taxi!", you can help him understand the meaning of the word control by (again)NOT paying him! Don't answer back, don't fight back, just don't pay him. Let's see who wins that argument. Bwahaha,

3.) NEVER, EVER pay right after you came up the jeepney. Chances are, the driver will make it an excuse to stay and wait for more passengers by asking you how many people are you going to pay for, your destination, where did the jeepney pick you up and stuff. And a worse scenario is after that useless smalltalk another passenger will come up the jeepney and do the same. The jeepney driver is in a win-win situation here since he gets to get your money and still linger around to wait for passengers. So, when is the best time to pay your jeepney fare? That is when the jeepney is already on the move.

4.) Be careful of rusty and old jeepneys. If you get in a minor traffic accident, you'd have a higher chance of wounding yourself on the rusty railings and get yourself a wonderful case of tetanus. Let's see how beautiful you'd look like in a locked jaw.

5.) Believe in the power of positive thinking and mental telepathy. Try to focus your mind on the driver and constantly repeat: Dasiga Dasiga (hurry). Believe me, it works 65% of the time. They could actually feel your eagle eyes piercing through their thick skulls and they get to start moving. So if you ask me, what happens to the other 35%? Well, some skulls are just too thick for mental telepathy and positive thinking to affect.

6.) Some drivers are just too deaf to even belong in the human race. Passengers would have to shout two or three times before he even stops the jeepney. And chances are you are a block away from where you wanted to stop. How do you deal with this driver? Shout STOP from a block away. Another option: Don't pay him.

Anyway, I hope you learned something and apply this crap to your miserable lives. It could get you out of your worst I'm-so-damn-late moments. You got comments? Feel free to write them down.....